Journey with Magnolia

Our Twins have arrived!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-02T17:34:00.000+11:00

OK before you get too excited - they aren't real flesh and blood twins. But they are the next best thing during this looooong wait (I feel like a broken record - I have been saying another 18 months for the last 17 months - I'm starting to get lots of questioning looks now - .

The twin dolls Ming Long and Mei Ling - that I last wrote about in January - arrived on Friday.

It was great fun to go to the post office and get the parcel and then come home rip the wrapping off to reveal them in all their cuddliness.

Zhōngqiūjié - Moon Festival

2007-09-23T08:38:00.000+10:00

This festival is known as the Moon Festival and is held each year on the 15th day of the eighth lunar month (in 2007 this is Wednesday 26 September). Because the lunar month starts on a new moon, it is always a full moon on the festival (and the full moon rises at sunset).

On this day people enjoy sitting outdoors admiring the full moon while eating moon cakes (yuèbĭng) and fruits such as pomelo (yòuzi).

The round shape (ie the full moon) to the Chinese symbolises family unity. Therefore the Moon Festival is a holiday for members of the family to get together wherever possible. On that day children will bring their family members back to their parents' home for a reunion.

During Moon Festival all types of lanterns - and especially colourful, animal shaped paper lantern - decorate houses. Moon Festival alters are adorned with five dishes of round fruits, such as apples, peaches, pomegranates, grapes and small melons - the round shape symbolising both the moon and family unity

For adoptive families a great book to read at this time (or anytime) is 'We see the moon' by Carrie A Kitze, EMK Press. A wonderful way to 'connect' with birth family in China and beautifully illustrated with Chinese Peasant Art.

The Legends
During the Yuan dynasty (AD 1280-1368) China was ruled by the Mongolian people. Leaders from the preceding Sung Dynasty (AD 960-1280) were unhappy at submitting to foreign rule and set out to coordinate a rebellion without being discovered. The leaders of the rebellion, knowing the Moon Festival was drawing near, ordered the making of special cakes. Each cake contained a message outlining the attack. On the night of the Moon Festival the rebels successfully attacked and overthrew the government and the Ming dynasty (AD 1368-1644) was created. Today moon cakes are eaten to commemorate this legend.

The Lady - Cháng'é
There is a legend that thousands of years ago there were 10 suns in the sky and it was burning hot on earth. An archer, Hòuyì, bravely shot down nine of the suns and saved the earth from famine. He was beloved among the people and they made him a king. He was also awarded pills of immortality by the goddess Wángmŭ Niángniang. The pills were for both him and his wife Cháng'é, but Cháng'é was curious and could not resist the temptation of immortality. She secretly took all the pills herself, which not only made her immortal but also floated her to the moon to live forever.

The Man - Wu Kang
Wu Kang was a shiftless fellow who changed apprenticeships all the time. One day he decided that he wanted to be immortal. Wu Kang then went to live in the mountains where he importuned an immortal to teach him. First the immortal taught him about the herbs used to cure sickness, but after three days his characteristic restlessness returned and he asked the immortal to teach him something else. So the immortal taught him chess, but after a short while Wu Kang's enthusiasm again waned. The Wu Kang was given the books of immortality to study. Of course, Wu Kang became bored within a few days and asked if they could travel to come new and exciting place. Angered with Wu Kang's impatience the master banished Wu Kang to the Moon Palace telling him that he must cut down a huge cassia tree before he could return to earth. Though Wu Kang chopped day and night the magical tree restored itself with each blow and thus he still up there chopping.

十五月 - Fifteen months

2007-09-21T18:51:00.000+10:00

What can I say?

Fifteen down, only ? to go!

What a week - 4 years AND 14 months

2007-08-26T21:59:00.000+10:00

What a week it has been - two very significant dates.

Firstly - 14 months since log in for DD2 (sadly I don't think we have hit the halfway point yet).

And then it was the 4th anniversary of Forever Day with DD1 - amazing how 4 years can go by so quickly. Four years since she was put screaming into our arms and there was much crying from the three of us. An amazing four years passed by in a nano-second!!!

Yipee!!!!!!!!! We are out of the Review Room

2007-07-27T18:58:00.000+10:00

You could have knocked me over with a feather when I logged onto the CCAA site at lunch time today (something of a ritual since we 'went into' the Review Room 3 weeks ago - a check before going to lunch and another before leaving work or later if I forgot).

I didn't actually look at the 'Documents Processing' box first off - I looked to see if there were any announcements in the central panel - quick browse there, nothing new. Then it hit me - the document processing box said:

"The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office before June 30, 2006."

I thought I had started hallucinating, so I shut my eyes and opened them and read them again. It really did say June 30, 2006. My heart and head were pounding fit to burst. I had to tell someone - who'd understand.

So I grabbed my mobile phone (that is Aussie for cell phone) and tried to find fellow June LIDer 'K's number but I managed to fumble around for a while. When I finally managed to dial it, it went through to voicemail and I think I left the most gibberish message imaginable. Undaunted I emailed her and then sent a text message. And yes when she got them she was excited.

Then I phoned my DH - who I knew would be pleased but not quite as excited as K would be - and yes he was pleased but then came the boy response 'so when do you think we will get our R...' (can't bring myself to mention the 'r' word here) - which just goes to show that his Y- chromosome linked deafness has been working all these months and he hasn't taken in any of my 'bulletins' about the 'wait' increasing.

We had our 'official' adoption milestone celebration dinner - Chinese take-away (that Aussie for take-out).

And 7 hours after I first read the news on the CCAA site, I'm still EXCITED!!! (or maybe that is the effect of the MSG).

13 months down...

2007-07-22T14:59:00.000+10:00

Well we have hit the 13 month post DTC mark.

And trying not to focus on the fact that we waited only 14 months for DD1 - notice how I said only, during that wait I would have ripped someone's head off for daring to saying you are only going to wait 14 months. A 14 month wait, that would be luxury this time!

I realised the other day, when someone at work asked how much longer, that for these entire 13 months my stock answer has been 18 months to 2 years more - time marches on but I sound like a broken record.

Oh for the time when I can say less than 18 months - problem is will I recognise that time when it comes!

Party Animal!

2007-07-15T16:39:00.000+10:00

My daughter turned 5 this week. How time flies!

She went through my Australian Women's Weekly Kids' Party Cake book and selected this one - Timothy Tiger. Actually I adapted him - he is supposed to be cut out from cake and then iced all over but I decided to just adapt the design and put it on top of a cake with plain royal icing.

I think he turned out really well (his stripes are licorice cut with pinking shears).

I actually made 2 Timothy Tigers - one for her actual birthday and one for her party today. OK I am that type of perfectionist that always likes to make sure I can pull off the cake before the big day (better to realise I am being too ambitious early than when the party is only a couple of hours away) - I had a back up in case of disaster - a premade Spiderman icing (she loves Spiderman - she is such a tomboy).

The party this morning went really well - we held it at Questacon (hands on science museum here in Canberra) - you have to have somewhere inside out of the cold in a Canberra winter. The kids had a science show in the party room and then had access to the exhibits. They really enjoyed it.

But back to cakes - for those ladybird obsessed adoptive parents the Australian Women's Weekly Kids' Party Cake book has 3 great ladybird cake options - there is a big ladybird cake on the cover, there is a cute little ladybird cupcake and another cake decorated with ladybird chocolates. Despite steering my daughter towards these - she really wanted the tiger.

There are actually over 120 cakes in this book - and some of them are works of art

The secret to eternal youth revealed...

2007-07-12T22:16:00.000+10:00

My daughter and I were looking in her mirror this evening and I asked her if she thought I looked old.

Her response - 'No Mummy, I think you look a bit new'

I then asked 'why do you think I look a bit new?'

Her answer and the secret to eternal youth 'I think it is because you wash every day - you wash off the oldness!'

Excuse me while I dash off to have another shower - LOL

Just love the pandas.....

2007-07-10T19:15:00.000+10:00

So apt that this panda photo is titled 'Love'. I just love these pandas.

FCC-Australia Greeting Cards

2007-07-04T13:20:00.000+10:00

These are the gorgeous new FCC-Australia Greeting Cards - each features a photograph of China and Chinese Calligraphy that defines the theme of each card (the pinyin and translation is also listed on the card). The cards are professional quality but the photographers are all FCC-Australia members (either home with their precious children or 'expectant parents') and talented amateur photographers. If you want to see close ups of the cards there is a link at the right to another site which has the enlargements.

And this is what your file will eventually look like...

2007-06-29T21:21:00.000+10:00

This is what your file at the CCAA will eventually look like. This file is in the post placement department at the CCAA. All the papers including your homestudy and post placement reports are placed inside a neat slim cardboard filing box and archived. Your child should be able to access the file when they reach 18 yo.

This photo was taken during a visit to the CCAA's previous premises in September 2005.

(it has taken me ages to upload this photo to the blog - I have been having problems with Blogger photos and had to do a work around - unfortunately I can't seem to get a larger size uploaded - hope you don't need a magnifying glass)

Zhōu Nián Kuài Lè !

2007-06-27T10:38:00.000+10:00

Zhōu Nián Kuài Lè ! means Happy Anniversary.

Well the one year anniversary of our LID has passed. It is of course a bitter sweet milestone - one year down, another one or two to go - but at least that is one year we don't have to do again.

So how did we celebrate this milestone?

Well our dog (he is 9 months old so really still a big puppy) had planned a 'fireworks' display for us - I caught him chewing through the electrical cable to the external hot water heater - one more bite and it would have been BBQ Labrador! Fireworks averted. So I spent the anniversary waiting for the electrician (who assured me that it wasn't as bad as I thought - just needed to be reinsulated and replacement conduit added). Water heater is now barricaded and I am trying to think of new and exciting things to keep the dog occupied.

xū - Chinese word of the month

2007-06-03T13:56:00.000+10:00

I was looking through some cards given to me for my birthday in 2006. One of them was from a close friend - it has a Chinese character on a floral background. The character (pictured) is xū. The card says that it is the I Ching character that means 'to wait' - it then says:

'If you have the patience and endurance all your dreams and wishes will be realised. Trying to hurry things along will result in disappointment'.
Now that is something to ponder!

I have checked my Chinese dictionary and the standard (non-I Ching) meaning of the character is:
需 xū - to require / to need / to want / necessity / need
(BTW if you can't see the character in this line - only symbols, you haven't set up your computer to read Chinese characters)

And really that is so apt as well.

If we add another character to the mix we get:
需索 xū suǒ( v. ) look for urgently

I think we are all doing a bit of xū suǒ with the wait - looking urgently for it to end.

By the way according to Wikipedia
"I Ching is the oldest of the Chinese classic texts. A symbol system designed to identify order in what seem like chance events, it describes an ancient system of cosmology and philosophy that is at the heart of Chinese cultural beliefs. The philosophy centers on the ideas of the dynamic balance of opposites, the evolution of events as a process, and acceptance of the inevitability of change.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Ching

11th month anniversary

2007-05-21T22:41:00.000+10:00

Well today marks 11 months since we were logged in.

I think I was travelling well until I got the latest newsletter for our department which listed the wait time as being 12 to 18 months - whatever they are on I want some!

With a current wait time of 19 months (I think the people with a Nov 2 2005 LID have been waiting close to this) then there is no way we are getting our referral next month and I can pretty much guess it isn't going to be 18 months either without some sort of miracle.

So I was travelling well, but now I am just plain annoyed that they are living on another planet and there will be some of their clients who despite everything will believe it.

BTW at 11 months I would be half way through my pregnancy if I were an elephant!

Today a newborn was abandoned...

2007-05-13T22:18:00.000+10:00

Today, Mothers' Day, in Melbourne a newborn baby girl was abandoned outside a hospital in Melbourne. The baby girl was found wrapped in towels and placed in a cardboard box.

The story has made national headlines - it happens so infrequently. Police and the nurse who found her have appealed for the mother to come forward to receive medical treatment. It is all very sad.

But what makes me sadder is to think about how many times this has happened today, and every other day, in China and it warrants not a peep, it doesn't cause a ripple. And instead of making instant national headlines, these babies will get a small grainy newspaper advertisement in a couple of months asking their birth parents to come forward.

It is all so sad...

Dragon Boat Festival - fifth day of the fifth month on the lunar calendar

2007-05-12T22:04:00.000+10:00

There are six main Chinese festivals - three for the living and three for the dead. Duan Wu Jie or the Dragon Boat Festival is the second festival of the living.

Duan Wu Jie is held on the fifth day of the fifth month on the lunar calendar, or June 19th 2007. The "double fifth" day represents the summer solstice in the Northern Hemisphere.

The origins of the Dragon Boat Festival date back at least two thousand years, rooted in fertility rites performed to ensure abundant rainfall in China. Rice is a staple food for people in China, and rain is essential for an abundant harvest.

Later, this changed into a festival to honour the famous Chinese poet, Qu Yuan, who drowned himself in the river in 295 BC, in a protest against government corruption.

The people loved him so much that they threw rice and eggs into the water to draw the fish away from his body. They honoured him every year by searching for his soul on the river in dragon boats, brightly coloured and decorated to resemble dragons, with a head at the bow and a tail at the stern.

They also prepared special rice dumplings wrapped in bamboo leaves, called Zhongzi, and threw them into the river as offerings to his soul.

The festival has developed to be more elaborate and fun. It is now celebrated with river parades, dragon boat races, rice offerings of Zhongzi, martial arts demonstrations, street theatre and firecrackers.

Festival Food - Zhongzi

Zhongzi can be either savory or sweet. Sweet Zhongzi are considered easier to make.

Sweet Zhongzi (Glutinous Rice wrapped in bamboo leaves)
Makes 12
Preparation Time about 1 hour, plus 2 hours soaking time
Cooking Time 2 hours

900g glutinous rice 1 tablespoon oil
24 dried bamboo leaves 450g black or red sweet bean paste
12 strings, each 1.5m long sugar to serve

1. Soak the rice for 2 hours, drain, change water and soak for a further 30 minutes.

2. Drain the rice well, mix in the oil.

3. Soak the bamboo leaves in warm water for 2 hours, rinse in fresh water, then drain and wipe dry.

4. Roll sweet bean paste into a sausage about 2.5cm in diameter, cut into 12 sections. Flatten each a little.

5. Place two bamboo leaves side by side together to form a triangular pouch. Add a portion of the rice and place a section of the bean paste on the rice. Cover with more rice and fold the leaves over the top and round the pouch to produce a plump, triangular-shaped bundle. Tie securely with string, but not too tightly as the rice will expand during cooking.

6. Simmer the Zhongzi in boiling water for 2 hours.

7. Open the Zhongzi packages at the table and serve hot with sugar as required. Any leftovers can be reheated unwrapped. Zhongzi taste even better reheated.

Glutinous Rice
While ordinary rice - long or short grain - is the daily staple of the Chinese diet, glutinous rice is regarded as a bit of a luxury in China and is only eaten special occasions. It contains more sugar and fat than ordinary rice, although they are both grown and harvested the same way.

The grains of glutinous rice tend to be whiter and rounder than ordinary rise and is much sweeter to the taste.

Source:
The Chinese Kitchen - a Book of essential ingredients with over 200 authentic recipes by Deh-Ta Hsiung, Kyle Cathie Limited, 1999

What I would take that I couldn’t find in China (easily)?

2007-05-06T16:02:00.000+10:00

Here is a list of things that I have on my definitely take next time we go to China - thought I'd share - it is from an Aussie perspective but I'm sure you can adapt it for other countries.

A power board with 3-pin plug – many of the hotels have Aussie style powerpoints BUT they only work if the plug has 3 prongs! Also they might only have one Aussie powerpoint in the room so if you want to charge a number of things the powerboard is the answer (we were able to charge the video recorder, the mobile phone and have the portable DVD player running at the same time - godsend!).

Adaptor plugs – a full set just in case there is no Aussie style powerpoint – you can then plug in your powerboard.

Portable DVD player and DVDs - absolutely fantastic if you are travelling with an older child as it keeps them entertained (they get very bored at watching CNN and so will you); throw in some of your own DVDs for when they have gone to sleep but you aren't ready to; we took our DVDs in a single CD case (hard backed with sleeves for each disk) and they took up hardly any room.

Aussie disposable nappies (they have the resealable tabs and are more leak proof) – definitely for the flights if nothing else

Aussie baby wipes for sensitive skin – as it turns our Emily is allergic to most brands except the ones I happened to take with us

Milton’s tablets, a 3.5 L container and a bottlebrush – I chose to sterilise the bottles (some people don’t) and this kit was my travelling steriliser

Nappy sacks (perfumed) –didn’t see any over there; and they are a god send when you are in your hotel room with a bathroom tidy full of dirty nappies

Thermos – 500ml Kathmandu brand – has this nifty top which means you don't have to fully unscrew the top to get water out- just right for a couple of bottles on the run plus we used it at night as putting the kettle was too much hassle; yes you can find them if you look but it might take some time.

Tinned baby food – I took baby pears (helps prevent constipation; note stewed apple will make baby more constipated.) and other fruit and some meat ones

Snacks and quick eats for yourself – if you are trapped in the hotel room with a sick baby you appreciate not starving to death (the bonus is with food is as you eat it you make room in the bag for your shopping!); if you are travelling with an older child take tins of stuff for them as well (because chances are they will turn there nose up at some point at what is offered at the restaurant - our daughter like Heinz Little Kids variety 1-3 yo - take an enamel mug big enough to hold the tin and pour boiling water in and let sit for 10 minutes - warms the food sufficiently to make it palatable) - I also recommend a travel tube of Vegemite - most supermarkets sold mini-loaves of bread (sometimes only 4 slices), buy these and slap some Vegemite on - great on the road for kids and big kids alike.

Cough medicine, throat lozenges, cold/flu medication, headache tablets (actually the whole medical kit) for self and baby – yes you can go to the doctor there but it is a little like home, if you have a virus they tell you to take some OTC medicine and go to bed; problem is you can’t always get what you would take at home; the local stuff can taste foul. If you baby comes with a cold you are sure to end up with it.

Baby panadol and baby nurofen – take both with you – if the baby has a high sustained fever you can alternate these meds (each one can be taken only a max of 3-4 times a day);

Thermometer – digital or in your ear are best (glass ones break and take a long time to register); the little strip things for the forehead are OK; but you want to know if you or bub have a fever.

Anti-inflammatory tablets/cream – I thought I had prepared at the gym but nothing prepared me for lifting 8.5kg of wriggling baby constantly; I developed RSI in both wrists – I lived on my husband’s anti-inflammatories. When we got home I switched to cream on advice of the GP, fortunately as my arms strengthened I got over it but I was to the point of crying when I was in China.

Zip lock bags (various sizes) – great for storing lots of things; great for protecting documents; great for putting your passport and money in, if carrying in your money belt under your clothes (no one wants sweating money or a passport), great for carrying snacks - just great full stop!

Mobile phone (don’t forget your charger)– we had ours set to international roam but barred to incoming calls (we could phone out though). We used them to text family in Australia and they could text us – we used this to let them know when we would be in the room so they could call us. Also handy because there were a couple of occasions when we lost each other (temporarily) and we were able to text each other and meet up again.

Memory cards for your digital camera – take more than you think you will need, don’t go for one really big memory cards – take a series of smaller ones – cards do fail (even new ones) and if everything is on one card you will regret it … You can buy cards over there but they are the same price or more than you pay here (depending on type – our friend played heaps more for one compatible with his Olympus)

Sorry for the break in transmission, we will now attempt to resume normal programming...

2007-05-06T15:55:00.000+10:00

OK sorry it has been a long hiatus. A number of things collided.

Firstly, I had to go away for work and when I got back I was overwhelmed with things to do on the work and home front.

Then we had a family trip away and that compounded the things to do on the home and work front (you just don't realise how far behind you get on the washing and ironing - aghhh! And the work emails and home emails - I actually came home from the short holiday to find my personal email account maxed out).

And then amongst all this we had the dreaded '2 day' and '6 day' referral months - which despite all my attempts to stay sunshine sally has had me feeling a bit 'bummed out' (and I know for sure I'm not the only one).

Anyway I'm now trying to pick up the pieces and get things rolling again. Stay tuned!

What's important?

2007-03-14T15:50:00.000+11:00

The other day in my desk calendar (the font of all wisdom) I came across a quote (by that famous philospher, Anonymous) and I thought it pretty much wrapped up what is really important in life, so I thought I would share it with you.

One hundred years from now, it will not matter what kind of car I drove, what kind of house I lived in, how much money I had in my bank account, or what my clothes looked like. But one hundred years from now, the world may be a little better because I was important in the life of a child - Anonymous

8 Months down!

2007-02-21T15:45:00.000+11:00

Well, January and the lead up to 'eight months' fairly zipped along. Mind you so much has been going on with Chinese New Year, it's hardly surprising.

So eight months it is, today!

Oh and the perennial question - how much longer? I'm hoping we are at least a third of the way through, pretty much resigned that we aren't half way through (although I am thinking of getting myself a grey caftan and calling myself an elephant - not that I'm large framed - it is just that elephant's only have 22 month pregnancies).

Gong Xi Fa Cai! 恭喜发财! Wishing you a happy and prosperous new year!

2007-02-18T19:22:00.000+11:00

Gong Xi Fa Cai!
恭喜发财!
Wishing you a happy and prosperous new year!

We have had a wonderful Chinese New Year.

It started last weekend when we travelled to Sydney and marched in the Chinese New Year parade, with a group families who have adopted from China. And about 2,500 other people. Our daughter had a great time - she rode on her dad's shoulders the whole way and waved and smiled at the large crowds like she was a 'homecoming queen'. Amongst that she was chatting up the police guarding the route.

Mind you one of the other little girls had a better idea - she had two toy dragons on a stick and was running up to the barriers and showing the crowd - and coming away with lots of coins.

Then on Friday night we went to the Chinese New Year celebration at the Chinese Embassy in Canberra - again with about 2,500 of their 'closest' friends. As usual it was a great night. As usual they set up market stalls and sold Chinese crafts and books - this year the proceeds went to Project Hope. And I always come away with a bag of fantastic and cheap books. This year they also had tea making demonstrations and tastings of a variety Chinese teas.

Then there is always the great food. And the great entertainment. This year the Embassy had brought out an Inner Mongolian performance troupe and they were gorgeous. Our daughter spent the pre-performance 'chatting' up the dancers and having her photo taken with them.

Then today being Sunday our daughter had Chinese school - and her teacher and the school gave her 'hong bao' (lucky red envelopes with money). And we got to eat homemade 'nian gao' (Chinese New year cake) and sweets.

Then after class we went to our daughter's Chinese godparents house to celebrate with them and other friends. We had a great time including having spring roll making lesson.

Today is the first day of the Year of the Pig (and the first day of Spring Festival or as we in the West refer to it - Chinese New Year). This year is said to be a 'Golden Pig' Year - because it is the last year in a 60 year cycle.

There is some conjecture that this year will see a surge in births in China because it is considered to be a good year to be born in. People born in the year of the Pig are said to be steady and honest with a kind and simple heart - they seek universal peace and get along well with everyone. They do not bear grudges and place great importance on friendship - they tend to believe in others. They like parties of all kinds. Girls born in the year of the pig are neat and tidy.

I think given the length in wait times, there is a strong probability that our second child will be born in the Year of the Pig.

Xin Nian Kuai Le! Happy New Year!

Something for those waiting to 'while away' the months...

2007-02-04T17:43:00.000+11:00

Recently I was asked what I 'did' to keep occupied during the wait for our first daughter. Well one of the things was my husband and I had an 'injection of the month' club (we were the only members).

It sounds a bizarre thing to do but we really wanted to know that we were going to be in tip top condition before and after we met our daughter. The last thing we wanted was a vaccine preventable illness - and so called 'childhood illnesses' are no fun in adults and can in some circumstances be quite serious.

Having known several parents who returned home with a nasty cough and feeling dreadful, only to be diagnosed later with whooping cough, which they had caught from their child, and also hearing about children being handed over on 'family day' with active chickenpox, we weren't taking any chances.

Even if you were vaccinated during childhood the immunity does not last a life-time - you often need a 'booster' in adulthood. A few years ago the Australian Government provided free whooping cough boosters for young adults because of this (unfortunately we were a touch too old for these).

Anyway we sat down with our doctor and mapped out what injections we thought we needed and when they needed to be given. Some require a single shot, others a series of shots so you have to plan ahead. So we made a plan for a visit every month to get these done - hence the 'injection of the month' club, as we called it.

If you are considering doing the same, please speak to your doctor but this is what we had:
Hepatitis B and A (combined vaccine - offers long term immunity to HepB and 5 years for HepA) - series of shots over a number of month
Whooping Cough (comes in a combined vaccine called Booterix with tetanus and diphtheria) - single shot
Measles/Mumps/Rubella
Chicken Pox
Polio (high incidence in China still)
Influenza shots

Then after we received our referral we went to a specialist 'travel doctor' and gots shots and medication for 'conditions' that were common in the area we were travelling (I think we had cholera and typhoid injections and medication for malaria - cause we were going outside the city) .

Announcing....

2007-01-27T13:32:00.000+11:00

Daughter no 1, together with Magnolia and Nikki, (that is the three of them in the photo on the blog page) are pleased to announce the referral of twin dolls - Ming Long and Mei Ling.

They received their referral this week for Mei Ling and Ming Long - receiving number 21 of the 500 hand numbered dolls.

No kidding, it was just like a real referral - attached are the referral papers (below) and the allocation photos for the dolls - very cute and just the thing to lift our spirits during the LONG wait for the real thing.

As you can see from the photo at right our daughter is going to have her hands full caring for the 'twins' and Magnolia and Nikki.

The twins are due in late Autumn/early Winter (or late Spring/early Summer in the northern hemisphere). We can't wait - it will give us all something to cuddle until the referral of daughter number 2.

Mei Ling and Ming Long are the creation of our friend Marcia Havaris, who also created Magnolia.

The Twins can be preordered through
http://www.magnolia-wo-ai-ni.com/
(link at right)- a minimum of 5% of sales will go towards projects benefiting children in China, including in Fuling SWI - additionally Marcia donates CAD$1.11 from each sale of Twin Dolls to Children's Bridge Charitable Foundation and also CAD$1.11 from each sale of Twin Dolls to Love Without Boundaries.

7 months down!

2007-01-21T19:32:00.000+11:00

Well, while December seemed to drag on forever, in the lead up to the six month mark; January and the lead up to 'seven months' fairly seemed to whiz by. I mean it only seems like yesterday since I last posted but when I checked it has been a week (mind you during the week, at work, things seemed to drag but then that is the strange thing about work).

So seven months it is, today!

Oh and the perennial question - how much longer? I'm hoping we are more than a quarter of the way through (anything longer than that I refuse to think about), wishfully thinking that we are more than a third of the way through, but pretty much resigned that we aren't half way through.

To think when we adopted our first daughter that at this 'point' (7 months) we would have been half-way through - and at that time I was a complete nervous wreck, thinking how we would ever survive the stress to the end. Not to mention falling to pieces when the 'rumours' at that time suggested the wait might go to 18 months (which it never did). Oh, the luxury - 18 months! - this time round I'd happily take 18 months, if you could promise it is a certainty!

Giving a gift that lasts a lifetime

2007-01-14T19:55:00.000+11:00

Over Christmas and during our clean up after the New Year's Eve 'Great Flood' I contemplated the amount of 'stuff' you accumulate in your life- stuff that you don't fully utilise or even need and end up having to simply throw out (not to mention those consumer items with inbuilt obsolescence that are designed to be replaced regularly).

I truly appreciate the sentiment behind the gifts we were given over Christmas but there is only so many material items we need in our lives. I had suggested instead of presents that money to a charity in China could be donated but no one took us up on the suggestion (and I guess I am guilty of it to a degree also because I didn't give the such a gift to them- although most everyone got a present where the profits went to a China charity). I guess it is almost like people feel that it isn't a real present and what would people think.

Last November I wrote about sponsoring children in China to go to school (http://journey-with-magnolia.blogspot.com/2006/11/diary-of-ma-yan-life-of-chinese.html and http://journey-with-magnolia.blogspot.com/2006/11/it-is-when-you-hear-from-girls.html).

For Christmas my husband and I gave each other sponsorships for 3 years for a further girl and two boys from our daughters hometown. We had originally intended just to sponsor girls because we feel strongly that through education the girls may be able to break out of the poverty cycle and also demonstrate to others the value of having daughters, particularly educated ones. But when we realised that there were boys needing education in our daugther's hometown, we realised that it was probably just as important to show our daughter that not just girls who were encountering difficulties (a sort of equal opportunity).

I'm also happy to report that at the same time two other Australian families who have adopted from Fuling also sponsored a further 6 children between them. The organisation in Fuling that coordinates the sponsorships continues to be so pleased that foreigners take such an interest in the children.

My husband and I are now sponsoring 6 girls and 2 boys - and it will be something to remember long after the tinsel is a distant memory - and for those kids it will last a lifetime.

So if you are stuck for a gift suggestion or idea for a birthday, Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day or Christmas etc - forget the extra pairs of socks or the box of chocolates - maybe you would like to consider sponsoring a child in China, or elsewhere, or maybe helping meet medical costs for a child with special needs.

but on a positive note (for the superstitious)

2007-01-13T17:07:00.000+11:00

A ladybird landed on me this morning, while I was at dog training...

'Say it isn't so'

2007-01-13T17:01:00.000+11:00

Recently I have seen quite a few people, usually recently DTC, posting to various groups that they have either just ‘crunched some numbers’ on their likely referral date or have seen or run someone else’s predictor and come up with dates of 2009 or 2010 or whatever– the post usually ends with a ‘please tell me it isn’t so!!!’.

As much as we’d all like to comfort these people (and ourselves), the thing is that none of us know – but wish I did.

While I am a rabid number cruncher myself, I always remind myself of the little disclaimer at the bottom of a financial prospectus 'past performance is not necessarily indicative of future performance'. So while I do fill in time during the wait crunching numbers and coming up with new averages to apply, what the CCAA has done in the past is not necessarily indicative of their performance in the future.

What we do know is that for more than 12 months now the CCAA has not allocated full months of LIDs and some times very few LIDs per referral month. We have the official statement from the CCAA, in their change to eligibility criteria notification, to the effect that the number of applicants has been in excess of available children.

Until we see full months of LIDs being referred per referral month (cycle), the wait will not stabilise and it will continue to increase. For the wait to decline, more than one month of LIDs per referral months needs to be referred, each referral cycle.

What does the future hold in the short and medium term – well there is no way of predicting because we are not privy to all the factors that may 'drive' the number of referrals in the future. We don’t know:

the number of files already logged in;
how many people may be dissuaded by the possible length of wait and may withdraw their files and explore alternatives;
how many children the CCAA might make available for Intercountry adoptions (and what impact such initiatives as the Blue Sky project – aimed at assisting medically frail abandoned children - may have); and
any other number of factors.

There are indications that the number of files logged in during 2006 was down from the 'heady' months of 2005 but there is no way of knowing if this truly correct, until perhaps those months are referred (even then we don’t know what other factors might be at play).

There is likely to be a significant spike in files logged in prior to May 2007, as files are sent prior to the rule change – this was seen in the months prior to the introduction of the singles quota and US quota at the end of 2001.

Because unfortunately the new criteria may rule out a significant number of applicants and this may bring the number of applicants more in line with the number of children available for Intercountry adoption. As the number of applicants and available children approaches equilibrium, the wait should start to stabilise. So once the CCAA has processed the pre 1 May applications there should hopefully be an impact on wait time. However, there are by all accounts a lot of files to be processed before they can get to this point – like the implementation of the quotas in 2001, it will be many, many, MANY months before we see the 1 May 2007 rules having an impact on wait times.

In know that it is really difficult during the wait not to obsess on when the referral is going to happen (or in your darkest hours, if it is going to happen at all) – I know I did this first time round (and do still occasionally do). But no amount of stress from any of us is going to make it happen any sooner – if anything the only thing that it is going to do is negatively affect our health. Trust me, when you get that referral you need to be healthy.

As much as I want a referral sooner rather than later I am preparing myself for a long wait (even a long, long wait) – if it happens sooner ‘bonus’. It does mean that to some extent our lives are in a ‘holding pattern’ because of the uncertainty.

Trying to look at the glass half full, rather than a glass half empty – at least we are in the ‘queue’ (sorry for using a commercial term but you know what I mean) – which unfortunately many will not be able to join after 1 May 2007 - and each day that passes is one day closer.

Sorry for the short break in transmissions...

2007-01-13T16:51:00.000+11:00

Things have been so hectic between my last post and now that I haven't had time to get to the blog.

New Year's Eve was eventful with a huge storm hitting our area - lightening, heavy rain and hail - which caused water up to my ankles to course through our backyard and through our garage. The street was a brown churning 'river'. Fortunately our roof and guttering held, so no leaks inside but the hail trashed the garden (that night my husband was in the vegetable garden with a torch assessing his losses - most of it).

Our 4.5 yo thought it was great after it was over because it looked like snow and was throwing snowballs - the hail was so deep that it lasted nearly 24 hours (and it is summertime here).

So New Year's day as spent cleaning up the garage and getting rid of the mud. And a large part of the time since has been spent putting the mess into a skip.

Then back to work this last week...

Will try to post more frequently in future...

13 months ago - the decision to adopt a second time

2006-12-27T19:53:00.000+11:00

Prior to adopting our first daughter we had always talked in terms of applying for a second adoption. On the day we sent our first file to China I made our case worker and my husband laugh when I asked ‘when can we apply for no.2’. I think in the back of my mind was an intention that we would apply as soon as it was allowed (which under local law is the one year anniversary of returning home).

However, when the one year anniversary came, both of us knew that for our family it was way too soon. We still felt that we were finding our feet as parents. We were totally in love and in awe of this little person – how could we love someone else as much as we loved her.

Also we were just entering a new phase – at the one year anniversary I had to return to work (local regulations require 1 year off work post adoption – although this can be shared by the parents, although somewhat discouraged) and I was finding my feet as a working mum.

Personally, I felt ‘overwhelmed’ on a number of levels.

There was a period where both of us considered that one child was enough. I think I came back around to the idea of a sibling first – some people might think this is unusual because I am the only child and my husband had a sibling.

As an only child with ageing parents I began to think about how our daughter would feel about the lack of ‘close family’ (ie a sibling) when we were elderly or no longer around. Personally I am fortunate because I have a close relationship with cousins who are a similar age to me (‘sisters’ without the sibling rivalry); our daughter’s cousins are much older than her and don’t have much in common – so I knew she was not necessarily going to have that relationship to fall back on. Our daughter does have a close relationship with her orphanage ‘sisters’ but I was unclear whether that would be long term a ‘substitute’ for a sibling.

The issue of having someone in the family with a ‘shared experience’ also was at the back of my mind.

We headed back to China on a return visit two years after our daughter’s adoption (part of our plan to try and visit China every two years) still with the belief that she would be an only child.

We spent three days in her ‘home’ town and had unlimited access to the orphanage. She had a great time visiting and playing with the babies, as did we. And while you can’t but feel moved by all these little ones wanting to be picked up and held, our decision to adopt again was not a lightening bolt at this point. But I do think it igniting a slow fuse in all three of us.

We returned to home and our daughter continued to talk constantly about the babies in the orphanage - what they were doing now? had their families come for them yet? Her interest in babies was heightened (actually ignited I guess because I don’t recall it being there before).
I started thinking more strongly about giving our daughter a sibling but didn’t mention anything to my husband. But a couple of weeks after our return, the possibility of a promotion came up for my husband and one of the first things out of his mouth was ‘if I got this promotion we could afford to adopt again’ (not that I ever thought money was a barrier). The ‘door’ was slightly ajar and I made sure I got my foot firmly planted in it before it shut again.

‘My foot got quite bruised’ there for a while as my husband tried to pull the door shut again. But as he had raised the topic first he knew I knew he had been thinking about it. Numerous discussions about the pros and cons ensued. But once we made our decision it was full speed ahead and my husband got me to phone the Case Worker the next day.

I have to say the decision was not taken lightly and I think that the second time around the decision was more complex than the first time. The first time we were fulfilling a need in us to provide for a child. The second time we had to factor in the short and long term impact of a decision either way on our first child. And the responsibility of that did weigh on us.

The next big decision was whether to tell our daughter about our plans or not. We decided that it was very important for her to know, not least as a way for her to understand why it had taken us so long to be ‘united’ with her.

We had named our daughter before we were allocated (actually more like 7 years before we were allocated). And she has helped select the name for her future sister – actually she had the casting vote as my husband and I preferred different names – she went with my choice (good girl).

She participated very loudly in our homestudy interviews (as she was 3 ½ yo at the time she did not have to be formally interviewed). In simple terms, she knew we had to write to the officials in China and ask to adopt her sister and the social worker was helping us to write this ‘letter’.

When she started pre-school at the beginning of the year, her classmates’ families were experiencing a mini-baby boom. At this point she so wanted to have a sibling and it helped her to know one would be on the way eventually (she knows it will be long time) and she happily tells her friends she is getting a sister or sometimes it is she ‘has a sister and she is in China’ (on occasions this has not been communicated correctly by her friends back to their parents because I have been asked ‘where is your other child?’).

Although she knows it will be a long time, she doesn’t quite have the concept of exactly how long ‘long’ might be (in fact we don’t either). As the wait continues to extend I occasionally have my doubts about did we tell her too soon, but then we have an animated and joyful conversation (at her request) about what it will be like when her sister comes home and everything feels right again.

I have had a few people outside adoption circles question why we told her, when the wait is so long - most notably my doctor who said ‘how are you going to deal with it if the adoption doesn’t happen?’ – I said no differently than the families of any of your patients that experiences the loss of a baby through miscarriage or still birth – we would all grieve for the loss. This was not something that I had actively considered before, but there are always risks in life, and intercountry adoption, you either embrace them or you hide from them.

Six months down...

2006-12-21T20:44:00.000+11:00

Well today marks our 6 month anniversary since log in. The $64million question is are we 1/3, 1/4, 1/5 through? Only time will tell.

Looking back this last month has seemed to take an age to get through but in other aspects it hasn't - it is not like I have had heaps of downtime to mull over the wait, I've been really busy. Maybe it is the looming holiday season.

The Tough Questions

2006-12-07T21:10:00.000+11:00

On a regular basis I am reminded that our adopted children are getting older and with it more observant and more likely to start asking us the ‘difficult questions’– such things as was daughter asking where her friend’s dad was (her friend’s mum is single); or attending a China adoption event and seeing all these little people with big personalities (and attitude to burn) running around – I remember a time when there was one or two babes in arms fresh home from China and a whole heap of clucky ‘expectant parents’.

Am I prepared? I don’t think I am but I am trying my best to rehearse in my head what I might say when the tough questions are asked. I just know that these are likely to be asked when I least expect it – like when I’m driving (and likely to take us into a ditch). And then it is likely to be a question I haven’t ‘rehearsed’.

Having listened to adoption specialists talk and read their articles, I realise that it is important to talk as naturally as possible about adoption issues from the outset with our children - to create and maintain communication channels. To be the one that your children hears things from first – not in the school yard, not from friends, not from strangers.

Issues such as baby trading in China are ones that our children need to hear about from us, first. People have long memories, it may be many years down the track when someone dredges their memory and says to our children ‘they sell babies in China, I read it in the paper’. How devastating it would be for our children and our relationship of trust with them if this is the first they had heard of the issue.

It would be easy to say ‘oh, that is a Hunan or Yunnan issue, my child is from…’. Sadly, our children do not come to us with a history of how they entered into the SWI system, even the information that is provided may be a legal ‘falsehood’ (for instance the finding site location may not have a street number but one is made up because the form requires it). We are presented with a series of unknowns and a series of possible hypotheses, that we may not ever be able to test, prove or disprove. But I feel that it important that we share all the possibilities with them no matter how remote they might be, however painful they may seem to us.

When is a good time, well I’m the first to admit that I don’t have that answer – I intend to incorporate age appropriate additional information into our story as time goes by. I think the age of the ‘serious mother/daughter bolt from the blue talk’ (mention it once and lets move on) is long past.

I’m keeping a ‘file’ of relevant material from this period, as an aide memoire for our discussions but also I can let my daughter read these for herself in years to come and draw her own conclusions.

It is so easy to romanticise the events surrounding how our children came to be with us, the children may do so themselves. There are lies and there are lies of omission – both can damage trust in a relationship if discovered. We owe it to our kids, to ourselves and to our long term relationship with them to be as upfront as possible, to communicate and keep communicating with them. To encourage those difficult questions (even if you are trying not to drive into the ditch) and try and answer them as best we can. And if we can’t, we need to be upfront with the kids that we don’t always have all the answers, that sometimes there are just more questions.

Baby Trade timeline

late November 2005 - the Shanghai Daily reports allegations of baby trading allegedly involving orphanages in Hunan’s Qidong County, People’s Republic of China. The paper reported that an alleged baby trader was arrested and made a series of allegations to police that he sold babies to orphanages and social welfare institutions. The paper reported that subsequently police detained 27 managers and workers at the Hengyang County orphanage including Jiang Zhenghua, the orphanage's director; Wang Weihong, the Party secretary of the orphanage, and He Yuhua, an accountant.

Late November/Early December 2005 – issue is carried widely in a variety of overseas media.

14 February 2006 – Jackie Kelly MP is widely reported as saying adopting children from China risked encouraging an international "trade in babies". "I think you do have issues there with the West continuing to plunder the Third World for kids now," Ms Kelly said. "It leads to trade in people. You create a trade in babies. You just don't want to put mothers in that situation where you've got an option of selling a child on the sly to support your other children."

The Australian China adoption community roundly condemns these comments. A range of Australian media have coverage of these comments..

Late February 2006 – trial of the alleged baby traders in Hunan takes place. Chen Ming, the head of Hengdong Social Welfare home, was sentenced on Friday but he is apparently 'on the run'. The heads of Hengyang and Hengdong county civil affairs bureaus, were removed from their posts for their negligence of duties. The officials in charge of the social welfare homes were also sacked. Sentences ranged from 3 to 13 years.

Early March 2006 – alleged baby traders in Yunnan Province arrested - 12 baby boys were allegedly sold, all were allegedly abducted but now returned to their families.

12 March 2006 – Washington Post does a major follow up article on the Hunan baby trade.; Sunday Telegraph (Sydney) reports the same day on the baby trade issue.

16 March 2006 – Associated Press reports that the CCAA has assured US Government officials that no children adopted to the USA had been abducted.

20 March 2006 – DHS Victoria advises that CCAA advice is that the children adopted by Australian families were not involved in the child trafficking; on that day it is reported that the ring leaders arrested in Yunnan for baby trading had been convicted and sentenced to death; other members received from four years to life sentences.

24 March 2006 – reported that a Ms Lin, part of a five-member gang in Fujian Province, involved in trafficking 31 baby boys, one of whom died, had been executed for her crime

So now it is December...

2006-12-02T20:52:00.000+11:00

In a way the year has gone fast and in other ways quite slowly.

This time last year we had only just lodged our expression of interest to adopt again and were waiting for the Adoption Unit to send us the application forms (which of course took them weeks - but then that was the first of the delays).

January saw the start of our homestudy and in March - 4 years and 1 day after approval to adopt our first daughter - we were approved to adopt again. Paperchase was fast but then we had to wait for our batch to form and weren't DTC until mid June.

In many ways the 5 and a bit months since then have flown, in other ways it hasn't. So much has happened at work since then but not knowing how long it will be till allocation makes 'career' planning difficult.

Our daughter is just about to finish pre-school for the Christmas holidays and of course we are already making plans for the new school year. In a way this helps to break the wait down a little - by the time she returns to preschool we will be another 2 months down.

I am being (trying to be) more sanguine about the wait this time but I still felt acute disappointment that this month we again did not see the wait stabilise. If they continue to allocate 14 'calendar' LIDs per month we are looking a 26 month wait (which of course is slap bang in the middle of the Beijing Olypmics - what wrinkles will that put in the program). But then we still have to get through the 'big' months of October and November 2005 and I really think that that will see a drop in the number of LIDs matched. Lets hope when we get into the 2006 LIDs we will see some stabilisation (if not before).

But each day that passes is one day closer. One day at a time...

What were the most memorable parts of our trips to China?

2006-11-27T22:08:00.000+11:00

Well I have to say the most memorable part of our trips to China have been getting out and meeting the locals.

Grabbing a hotel card (with details in Chinese and English - just in case you get lost), a local map, and a camera and getting out amongst the daily life. Don't take too much stuff with you - you don't want to make yourself a 'target' - just what you can easily manage. Don't forget your sense of adventure and your sense of direction.

It helps to have a few words of Chinese or a good phrase book. In the provincial cities we visited we found that English was variably spoken in the hotel (ie a few staff had very good English, some had passable English and the lower level staff very little) but usually vary rarely spoken outside the hotel - so knowing a few words of Chinese gets you a long way.

Getting out and about gives you a glimpse of day to day life in China and you can make some really interesting discoveries.

For instance in Chengdu, Chongqing and Fuling I found some great local shops in the pedestrian subways that went for miles - the same products as in the Dept store next to our hotel but half the price.

You get to interact with the locals. Sometimes they will just stop and stare or they may walk past and giggle or they might stop and try and strike up a conversation with you (particularly if they have studied some English and want to practice).

Sometimes they will stand back en masse but then something will give and you are inundated with people. For instance in Chongqing there are young people handing out advertising on business card size pieces of card - these people are everywhere, trusting the cards into the hands of locals. On our first trip and first street promenade we were given a wide berth, until one young boy trust a card at me and said 'hello' and responded with a 'ni hao' and then it was on for young and old - every street card provider wanted to give us theirs and say 'hello' or 'ni hao' - my husband and I got a stack each over 3 inches high - all absolutely useless to us (they were for local phone companies and travel agents as far as I could tell). But it did give us a priceless memory.

When walking with my daughter in Chengdu we saw some very interesting street life - people selling little tortoises (I tell myself they were pets but I think they were for eating), origami insects made out of bamboo leaves and my daughter's favourite - the man standing on his head on the street corner. She spoke about him for weeks afterwards - what was he doing, why was he doing it, is he still there? I marvelled at the fact that he narrowly missed having someone spit in his face (not that they intended to but there is still a large amount of expectorating that occurs in the street).

In Fuling I just got out and wandered around the streets - particularly around the orphanage (which will move in 2008) and recorded street life with my camera - the lady selling eggs, the fruit seller, the market stalls, the laundry hanging from a tree. Just anything to capture the memories for when my daughter is older and the orphanage is no longer on that site.

In Chongqing, we were also exposed to some of the less fortunate members of society - people begging in the street. But it was not the 'in your face' aggressive type of begging - for the most part the people look abjectly 'ashamed' of their situation. It was very confronting stuff - destitute women, severely disfigured lepers, amputees. It was very difficult to walk past them and not want to give them some money - but unfortunately they were generally positioned in areas that would have put me at 'risk' if I had pulled out my wallet and started passing money around. They are images that stay with me - definitely not the usual travel memories but they do give an insight into the plight of people in a country with no social security.

It is very easy to want to stay within the safe air conditioned confines of your hotel, where the staff (for the most part speak English) and only venture out with your guide. But miss out on a lot of the experience of really being in China - the sights, the smells and the sounds. But being a little adventurous will yield you with memories you aren't going to find in a guide book.

Christmas is a time for giving...how about giving a gift that makes a difference

2006-11-23T20:11:00.000+11:00

I think that as you get older you realise that the person that dies with the most 'stuff', doesn't necessarily win. Rather it is probably the person that makes the most difference for the better.

Having travelled to China and visited our daughter's orphanage and also visited rural areas and seeing the poverty, it is easy to become overwhelmed and almost 'paralysed' - there is so much to do, where to start. With small steps - even the smallest amount in monetary terms in the West and have a life long impact in China.

As Christmas approaches again I begin to realise there is not much I really 'need' or even for that matter want (other than what money can't buy and which can only be given by the CCAA). Maybe you feel the same.

For many, Christmas has become a time of commercialism run rampant. We can choose instead a gift that will make a difference. Many of the children in China’s orphanages need the basics of life and a few things to make their lives a little brighter.

If you live in Australia you might like to consider making a donation to the FCC-Australia/Amity Christmas appeal.

Families with Children from China Australia Inc (FCC-Australia) is the only Australian parent group that acts solely for families who have adopted, or who are in the process of adopting children of Chinese ethnicity. FCC-Australia is run entirely on a voluntary basis. One of FCC-Australia’s major goals is to advocate for and support children remaining in orphanages in China. In the last 2 years FCC-Australia has sent almost A$30 000 to Amity from fundraising and member donations.

Through this program you can give your family a 'gift' and child in an orphanage an even bigger gift of:

an education;
life-changing surgery
books
someone to hug or
mobility via a wheelchair

FCC-Australia has been working with the Amity Foundation to provide some of these requirements. There is so much that needs to be done. Below are some suggestions from Amity.

Hugging Grandmas A$750.00 per annum- These women provide the love and care that orphanage staff do not always have the resources to provide.
Foster Care A$55.00 per month -In home family care
Schooling A$355 per annum - Children being cared for by foster families are not guaranteed an education. Extra funds are required to provide this.
Medical Needs (ie incubators, sterilising equipment, microscopes, medicines, vitamins,
rehab equipment) for example a wheel chair costs A$200.00

All donations by Australians are tax deductible via the National Council of Churches in Australia. If you'd like to make a gift donation FCC-Australia will send you a card with details of the supported project.

For further information about any of the projects, please contact
Jan Williamson
GPO Box 12
Hobart
Tasmania 7001
email: jwilliamson@dodo.com.au

Further information about Amity can be found at http://www.amityfoundation.org/

Further information about FCC-Australia can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FCC-Australia

A ladybird in the hand is worth...

2006-11-22T21:51:00.000+11:00

I came home from work today to find a little ladybird snuggled on my doona cover. Well with only 5 months under our belt it can't have been visiting as a 'sign' to us - unless it is one of those really long-range forecasting ladybirds!

Anyway my daughter wanted to hold it for luck and be photographed with it, before we released it on our rose bushes where it can live happily munching on the aphids.

5 months since LID

2006-11-21T21:55:00.000+11:00

Well today it is 5 months since our file was logged in at the CCAA. I guess the big question is 'how much longer?'

I thought the 14 months we waited for our first daughter was long but it looks like we may well and truly exceed that this time. The wait is currently just under 15 months from LID. However, unless the CCAA is able to refer whole months of LIDs the wait won't stabilise and will continue to increase.

I have to say I am trying to be far more sanguine this time (although my husband says I am obsessed - he obviously has trouble remembering how I was last time). I was very stressed with our first wait and that was in large part a fear that it would never happen and we wouldn't be able to parent a child. And then we had the two months SARS shutdown just as our referral was due. But of course history shows it did happen.

And even though things are moving at a snails pace at least they are moving forward, which is more than can be said when the SARS shutdown was in place.

I also think that I am busier this time - working full-time, looking after my daughter, a husband, 3 cats and a new puppy takes up my time. I also have a heavy commitment in time to local adoption activities. And then there is working to raise money for children still in China. So there never seems to be a really quiet moment these days. And that leaves me less time to brood.

It is when you hear from the girls themselves that it makes the sponsorship a million times more important

2006-11-20T20:59:00.000+11:00

I just wanted to share two letters from one of the girls (I have blanked out to protect her privacy) we sponsor in our daughter's hometown. It really sums up the aspirations of these young girls and shows that what is really so little, in western monetary terms, can make such a difference for them and allows them to keep their dream alive.

Dear Aunt,
My Mum left me , my Dad got very sick, the financial situation in our family is difficulty. It was you that offered your helping hand in needed time. I am very grateful for this.

It has been more than five years since my Mum left me. I am now living with my grandpa and grandma, they care about me and tole me that I should study particularly hard under such circumstance. I am following their advices and study very hard. I concentrate during the class and complete homework seriously. I am doing well in my study.

For Chinese subject, I was ranked among the first three in the class, for maths,
I was among the first fifth. I was also good in other subjects. I also actively
take part in all sorts of activities after class. After I have done my homework. I help my grandpa and grandma with household stuff.

I will continue my efforts in studying, and keep fit so I can be a useful people when I grow up, and doing my contribution to the prosperity of our country, and do not live up to you aunt, my teachers and all person cornered.

I’d like to thank you again for your kindness and do not hesitate to let me know your expectations on me. I wish you good luck, good health and happy spring festival.

Yours sincerely
XXXX XXXX
4 Jan 2006
Class 3 Grade 5

Dear Auntie
How are you. Are you very busy at your work?

You know, I am very exciting when I am writing this letter to you.

The semester just finished, I will graduate from my primary school after
another year’s study. I did well this semester!

I achieved 96 in Chinese and 97 in math. I was appointed as a person in charge of study in our class, responsible for issues relating to study I did my best. In the final assembly, I can felt the beat of my heart because I was so nervous – I was not sure if my name could be mentioned by the school head. When my name was finally called out, I couldn’t help but jumping out. I was also awarded as "three good student (a student of overall accomplishment – translator’s note) I wish I could fly to your home and tell you these good news in person. I am sure you will be exciting when you read about this.

Auntie, I take this chance to thank you, it was you raise my hope to life, it was you that give me confident, you look after me just like my next-skin.

I will not live up to your expectation, I will study well. No matter how poor my family is, I determine to go to university for further study.

My dream is to become a teacher. This might not be a greatest job, but I like to be a teacher since I was a child. I found out teachers worked very hard for us, I think they give a lot then take in. To be a teacher is my dream and I will fight for realising this dream.
Wish you best of luck and good health,

XXXX XXXX
6 July 2006

I do hope this girl can realise her dream - she may one day study at the Fuling Teacher's College that featured in River Town- to know that our small contribution now could change not only her life but that of the children she might teach is an awesome concept!

But the road for her to realise her dream is steep. She has to be able to continue her schooling. Ane she needs to continue with her good grades. Then she will have to sit the National University exams - these are highly competitive.

And then comes the biggest hurdle - paying for the college education. My friend in Chongqing tells me that the degree/diploma takes 4 years to complete and that it costs about 6000 yuan per annum for tuiton and board but on top of that they have to pay for food and books. So if her family cannot afford for her to go to school now (at 1/20th of that cost) how can they hope to find that kind of money for a college education.

To date I have not been able to find a scheme that could assist her, and those with dreams like hers, to achieve her ambition. But hopefully in the coming years I will be able to identify some route.

Taking our daughter back to visit her orphanage

2006-11-19T19:40:00.000+11:00

In September 2005 we took our daughter back to China for a holiday and an visit to her hometown and her orphanage. Despite my concerns prior to our visit she loved being able to visit the babies everyday while we were in Fuling.

I'm not sure that she had any conscious memories of the SWI (even though she was 13 1/2 months when we were united). But we talked about it a lot in the lead up to our trip - she knew she would be visiting the babies and meeting her nannies.

Being a typical shy 3 yo she didn't really want to have anything to do with the nannies when we arrived - it always takes her some time to warm up to a new social setting. This was hard for Director Yang and the nannies because they really wanted to give her a hug. But she did agree to sit on our friend's lap next to DirectorYang and look through the photo album we took (after all it was about her favourite subject - herself).

But as soon as that was over she announced that she wanted to see 'Her room' and 'her cot' now. So in we went - me with my heart in my mouth because I didn't know how she would react when she saw it - I needn't have worried she took it like a trooper, straight over the barrier.

I don't know if any of you are familiar with the classic British sci-fi 'Dr Who' but if you are the next scene was like the invasion ofthe Dalek - because a wall of babies in baby walkers surged towards her and surrounded her. She was completely trapped and little hands were reaching out to her - that she didn't mind but she didn't like being trapped. The babies did the same to me but I was able to stepover. At one point I tried to move forward but something was stopping me - the strap on my bag was hanging down and I found onevery determined but happy (I've caught you!) baby hanging off the end of it - not sure if she was trying to stop me getting away or thought she might get a tow.

In relation to the 'her cot' we showed her where we were told her cot stood on our visit to collect her. She was so interested in seeing what was in the cots. There were definitely less babies inthe room that we visited immediately post SARS in 2003 and therefore less cots.

There were also areas of matting near the TVs and we saw a number of babies out of their walkers and being given the opportunity to crawlaround and explore.

Our daughter wanted to know what the babies were wearing, what they were playing with and what they were doing. She wanted to know where their nappies (diapers) were and was fascinated with the split pants (to the point of becoming our official split pant spotter for the rest of our China trip). She witnessed a few lightening fast nappy changes.

We gave Emily her own camera to record her trip and the babies - she loved it. And throughout the visit she would buzz in and out of the rooms to visit the babies and take photos.

The babies still watch the big screen TV and love music - at one point they were all outside on the verandah and the nannies turn onthe TV - it must have been time for a favourite program because as soon as they heard the theme music there was a stampede back intothe room. We have to report that there are quite a few little 'headbangers' in the making because they were all bopping along in their walkers like they were at a heavy metal concert - it was a hoot.

On other occasions the nannies turned music on and clapped and danced and the babies were bopping and grooving along.

What really impressed me is that some of the babies were really babywalker artists - they would twirl and twist those walkers and hurtle forward and backwards giggling away.

Our daughter had a great visit and I'm sure she has some lovely new memories of the SWI - she is still talking about the babies and the nannies (even a year later - and that she would like the babies at childcare to wear split pants).

How do the carers in the orphanages keep track of the babies?

2006-11-18T19:08:00.000+11:00

It had not occurred to me to even consider this until I made the return trip to my daughter's orphanage in Fuling.

I knew that the cots had the babies' names on them but how did they keep track of 30 babies in baby walkers in a room and not put them back in the wrong cot.

Well during our visit in September 2005 we found out - actually our friend who travelled with us and translated for us pointed it out to me first (I was having too much fun photographing babies swarming around me to see the detail).

Each of the babies had their name (or at least the last character) written on their forearms. Actually having spoken with the nannies those who are working with the babies day in day out know them all by name, so the name on the arm wouldn't be necessary for them.

However, we did see the medical staff come in and administer injections to some of the babies who were poorly and I think that this is probably when the name on the arm becomes very important.

Our friend stayed at the SWI and was able to observe the early morning routine (while we were struggling to get a 3 yo back at the hotel to wake up get dressed and have breakfast - mind you the question 'do you want to go and see the babies' worked wonders) -when she visited the rooms before breakfast in the SWI canteen shes aid that the medical staff were giving all the babies regular checkups. We also observed the nannies regularly taking temperatures of those children with runny noses etc (or signs of upper respiratory tract infections).

Fuling - A River Town set on Fast Forward

2006-11-17T22:20:00.000+11:00

"…Fuling slipped out of sight quickly. I stared out the window at the city and mountains, trying to grasp more into my memory. But who knows what will be when I come back next time? ..."

I couldn't put it better - but this is a quote from one of Peter Hessler's (author of River Town) students about leaving Fuling (Changing Course by Peter Hessler, Time Asia, 2003). It is how I felt in 2003 when we left Fuling after our flying visit to collect our daughter from Fuling SWI and it is most definitely how I felt leaving Fuling after our extended visit. Only difference is this time I know how quickly things are moving in Fuling - this is a town that has been on fast forward since Peter Hessler wrote about his time there approximately 8 years ago.

In fact, although I knew that the River Town of Hessler's time had changed I still suffered what I can only describe as a kind of 'culture shock' trying to equate the town I had read about and the one I was walking through. Yes there are still parts of Fuling exactly how Hessler described it but there is the modern Fuling with modern buildings and chain stores (I even found a baby boutique which was better stocked with Huggies, Pampers, formula and babyfood than anything I saw in Chongqing city).

The new dykes have cut a swathe through what would have been 'old town' - the dyke area will be Fuling's answer to Shanghai's Bund -you can walk along the top and get views of the river, underneath will be shops and cafes. But when we were there these were still empty (hardly surprising because the rent advertised on the signs was huge even in our terms) - Vice Director Huang who took us there said they should open soon. Behind the dykes there is a large area of cleared land - part of it is a construction site. We were told that this a museum for White Crane Ridge - this will incorporate an underwater viewing of the rock which will/is submerged by the rising Three Gorges waters (the reason for the dykes). There is a new museum in Chongqing - opposite People's Hall - and it has a piece of White Crane Ridge on display - so worth the visit.

We drove back to the orphanage through an area of old town (ala Hessler's River Town) behind the cleared land - to my surprise we were told that everything to the left (ie lower side) of the street we were on was earmarked for demolition and the right side would stay - so there were at least several streets that were still to be knocked down.

The taxi drivers didn't beep nearly as much as I had thought from Hessler's description - maybe they had toned it down or perhaps I was deaf to horns after a couple of weeks in China when everyone seems to beep every 5 seconds.

We noticed the development made in the area in the last 2 years even on the trip there - there was far more development along the highway from Chongqing. But I was completely surprised at how close the city was getting to the bridge. When we were there in 2003 the Taiji pharmaceutical plant was sitting by itself on side of the hill -nothing much around - it is now in quite a built up area and this extends back towards the bridge.When we visited the building site for the new orphanage with Director Yang and Vice Director Huang, Mr Huang joked that 3 years ago the current SWI lay outside the city limits now it is really in the centre - he joked that in a couple of years the new orphanage would be in a built up area and I can believe it. The new orphanage site is perched high above the Fuling side of the bridge - if you look up as you cross the bridge you can catch a glimpse of the crane on the new site.

One thing that hasn't changed with Fuling is the friendliness and the curiosity of the people - we did have a number of Hessler type moments with crowds gathering around us and firing questions at us that my Mandarin was not good enough to cope with. On one evening I took our daughter by myself to watch the night exercises on the square outside Fuling Stadium and we drew a big crowd. Fortunately one of the people who came up was a local teacher, trained at the Fuling Teacher's College, who spoke perfect English - she teaches English in one of the local schools and liked to take every opportunity to speak with native speakers (as it turned out 2 of her teachers had been Australians). She was able to translate all the questions that the crowd had and the answers - when she had to leave those in the crowd were able to tell newcomers of the who/what/where of our visit (except for one old lady who I think was telling me off for having our daughter in shorts in 35 degree heat who got very animated with me and despite my 'I don't understand' in Mandarin kept telling me in Mandarin to LISTEN). But word of our visit spread because in the following days when we were out people would gather around and Iwould hear someone say in Chinese of course- 'the daughter is a Fulinger, from the SWI'.

So Fuling is a changing town and changing rapidly (probably not interm of the pace of change in the rest of China but in comparison with the West - they can pull down and rebuild in less time than the environmental impact statement takes here)- what will it be like when we next visit. I don't know. What I do know is that we want to visit a regularly as we can afford because it the city and the people do hold a special place in our hearts.

The Diary of Ma Yan – the life of a Chinese schoolgirl - a book that had a profound impact on me

2006-11-15T20:48:00.000+11:00

The Diary of Ma Yan – the life of a Chinese schoolgirl – transformed (edited and introduced by Pierre Haski, Virago 2002) had a profound impact on me. I came upon it by chance. I hadn’t even intended to go to the bookshop that day but I was passing during my lunch hour and decided to drop in. As usual I decided to browse the Biography section. I am always drawn to author or subject names that appear Chinese. I found a single copy of this book tucked away.

As the back cover says, this is a moving tale of a young girl who wants to overcome her impoverished existence and who prefers to go hungry so she can save for a pen.

By chance her story reached the world. In 2001 a French journalist Pierre Haski was visiting a remote region of north-western China. A peasant woman thrust into his hands pencil writings on seed packets and small notebooks. When he reached Beijing he had the writings translated and found they had been written by a 13 year old girl, Ma Yan, the peasant woman’s daughter. It contained a plea titled ‘I want to study’. Amazingly, although Ma Yan’s mother could not read the diary herself, she realised the importance of it and by handing it to a foreigner set in chain events that would transform her daughter’s and other people’s daughter’s lives.

A peasant family with 3 children they could not afford for all of them to go to school, so Ma Yan had been withdrawn so that her brothers could continue. The book clearly illustrates the life of poorly educated peasants – of the back breaking toil and struggle to provide the barest of necessities to sustain life.

Ma Yan’s burning desire to learn is clearly reflected in her writings. And the chance meeting of her mother and the journalist led to Ma Yan’s and many other being changed for the better.
The journalist published her story on his return to France and together with his readership raised enough money for Ma Yan and many other girls to go to school.

This book had a profound effect on me because it brought into focus just how hard life is for many people in China. The poverty line in China is less than USD$1 a week. It also brought into focus how difficult it for girls to receive an education. Still in this day and age educating a girl is a luxury and when resources are tight it is something that can be sacrificed. But as we know even in the West lack of education perpetuates the poverty cycle.

Education in China is not free – or sometimes it purports to be free but there are lots of extras that families have to pay for in order for the child to be educated.

So after reading this book my husband and I felt driven to sponsor girls in rural China to go to school. We were fortunate that on our return trip last year our daughter’s Chinese godmother helped us make contact with a group in our daughter’s hometown which runs a program for locals to sponsor children. With her help they agreed to allow two ‘waiguoren’ (foreigners) to participate – they had never been asked before.

Initially, we sponsored two girls who had been adopted locally and then when we returned home we found out about 3 girls, from the village that our daughter was found in, who needed sponsoring. So at the moment we sponsor the five girls. We get short letters from them (all in Chinese with the occasional English word) telling us about their lives and their studies. And in addition to the sponsorship money we send them small gifts and clothes.

It is created an amazing sense of connection between us and the area our daughter was from. We continue to support the orphanage through fundraising but this adds an extra dimension to our connection.

So a chance visit to a bookstore led me to a book about a girl desperately wanting to learn, that in turn opened my eyes it helping 5 young girls with the same burning desire.

River Town - Two years on the Yangtze - Book Review

2006-11-12T18:53:00.000+11:00

In 2002 when we were waiting for our first daughter, the first book I bought and read after our file was sent to China was River Town by Peter Hessler. Little did I know that the red thread had drawn me to this book.

The River Town in question turned out to be my daughter's birthplace.

In 2004 I wrote this book review. Naturally enough this book is one of my favourites but having visited the town both for the adoption and again last year, it certainly in no longer the quiet little back water it was in this book - it is a town on fast forward.

River Town, Two Years on the Yangtze Peter Hessler, 2001 Harper Collins

We were travelling down the motorway from Chongqing airport to our hotel and our guide was describing Chongqing to us. She confirmed that on Sunday we would be heading to Fuling to collect our daughters from the orphanage. She asked, what did we know about Fuling, had we read River Town?

Had I ever! In fact it was the first book I read after our file requesting a child was on its way to China. With our quest for a daughter from China came a thirst for more information about China, and I started to read autobiographies set there. Most of the personal stories I was drawn to had been written by Chinese women, many of whom had endured harsh and difficult lives but survived. So when I came to River Town it had a different voice. It was male and it looked at China, or at least the life in this isolated small (at least in Chinese terms) town on the Yangtze River, through Western eyes.

At first I was slightly annoyed by this "male, western voice", but then I realised that the problem was with my mind set, not necessarily the authors, so I made a conscious decision to set aside my concerns about the voice and just enjoy.

And enjoy I did. While reading it I harboured a secret fantasy that our daughter might come from Fuling, an absurd notion really, but of course that fantasy did come true.

River Town is by Peter Hessler, who travelled to Fuling as part of the US Peace Corp in 1996 and as the title suggests worked there for two years. Peter now lives in Beijing and works as a freelance journalist. His articles on China have been published by Time, National Geographic, and the New Yorker, among others.

The book covers his life in Fuling, his teaching experience at Fuling Teacher's College, and his travels up and down the Yangtze River and other parts of China. It details his trials trying to learn the language, of which he had little when had arrived, and finding their place in the college and the society. It also touches upon social and environmental issues that he is aware of (for example the high rate of suicide, and of course the negative consequences of the Three Gorges Dam). It does not, however, mention child abandonment or adoption.

In particular, it gave me an insight into being a minority in a relatively insular society. At the time that Hessler lived there Fuling had little contact with Westerners. Most of the time he was one of only two foreigners living in the town. Hessler and his friend, Peace Corp worker Adam Meier, had a large degree of novelty value for some locals. They were isolated by lack of language and lack of understanding of the prevailing culture and looked physically quite different from those around them. (I was reminded of this aspect of the book when in Chongqing and as the only two westerners on the street, my hulking 6'61/2" husband attracted stares and much laughter, and then a very inquisitive crowd. Later my husband "caused' a bus accident when the driver braked to get a better look at him and two other buses rear-ended him. no one seemed to mind. There were no injuries and all the passengers got a good long look at my husband, but I digress).

For a Fuling parent, the rich description of daily life in Fuling and of the surrounding countryside is worth its weight in gold. Fuling barely rates a mention in most guide books. But Fuling does come across as a dirty, polluted and noisy town (the constant honking of car horns). Hessler vividly describes the steep streets, laneways, and the "stick stick" men (the men with the bamboo poles for carrying goods on. We saw many stick/stick men in Chongqing). He gives us a picture of the changing seasons on Raise the Flag Mountain and White Flat Mountain and the significance of White Crane Ridge (which unfortunately is lost from sight forever due to the rising waters cause by the Three Gorges Dam). The only thing I think it could have benefited from was some photographs of the area, rather than just leaving it to the word pictures. (This is a purely personal. I love to read biographies and travelogues and thumb through the pictures; also it would have been a valuable additional "resource" for our Fulingers).

Hessler's book also made me realise that despite the veneer of an emerging capitalist society, China is (was) still at its heart a communist country and as such there is still a reluctance to speak out on some issues, particularly to westerners. The college administration has strong Communist party allegiances (if not membership). Hessler provides a vivid description of the students "joy" (which to this reader appear by some to be heartfelt but on another level orchestrated) at the return of Hong Kong to the motherland and their mourning the death of the Chinese leader, Deng Xiaoping (who had grown up to the northeast of Chongqing).

I eagerly acknowledged to our guide that I had read River Town. In a slightly embarrassed tone she responded that Fuling was not like that. Did she mean not anymore? "Chongqing [of which she considered Fuling to be part, the whole area being a municipality] is very modern. The government has spent a lot of money here."

It was clear that from the way that she carefully chose her words--in the way that many Chinese people can, saying so little but meaning so much - that she found book slightly embarrassing, perhaps a slight on her "home town" and she did not want us to get the wrong impression.

And with that comment I readjusted my thinking slightly on River Town. Yes, it is a fantastic read but it does describe a Fuling of nearly seven years ago. Not a long time you might think, but China is rapidly changing. To take assume Hessler's depiction is still completely accurate would be like looking at 1960s USA (or any other western country) and saying that is how it still is now, when infact it is a "generation" later. The Fuling of the book is isolated --to get to Chongqing took 6 hours by boat --and thus has very little contact with Westerners. Now you can zip down the motorway in less than two hours. This is also pre-Three Gorges Dam Fuling. Physically Fuling has been changed by this massive project. Dykes have been built and low lying areas are being flooded. At the same time there has been increased investment and building. Before there were no traffic lights, now there are. Then there was no overseas adoption, now there is.

So read this book and enjoy this "historical" insight into a remote Chinese town, but don't assume that this is exactly how it is now.

Passing the time until number 2

2006-11-11T22:51:00.000+11:00

The journey to our second daughter looks like it is going to be a marathon (hard to believe that it might be longer than the 14 months we waited for our first daughter).

But as I say to others also waiting, it is important to keep busy.

So want can I do to fill in time. This blog is one answer.

I have also found that since we adopted our first daughter I am drawn to assisting those children that still remain in orphanages in China but also children in rural areas who, due to family hardship, face a struggle to be educated. I am really enthusiastic about exploring ways, no matter how small, that I can assist.

So this journey will be one exploring our current wait, sharing some of the information I come across about my daughter's birth country and ways of assisting less fortunate children in that country.