Prior to adopting our first daughter we had always talked in terms of applying for a second adoption. On the day we sent our first file to China I made our case worker and my husband laugh when I asked ‘when can we apply for no.2’. I think in the back of my mind was an intention that we would apply as soon as it was allowed (which under local law is the one year anniversary of returning home).
However, when the one year anniversary came, both of us knew that for our family it was way too soon. We still felt that we were finding our feet as parents. We were totally in love and in awe of this little person – how could we love someone else as much as we loved her.
Also we were just entering a new phase – at the one year anniversary I had to return to work (local regulations require 1 year off work post adoption – although this can be shared by the parents, although somewhat discouraged) and I was finding my feet as a working mum.
Personally, I felt ‘overwhelmed’ on a number of levels.
There was a period where both of us considered that one child was enough. I think I came back around to the idea of a sibling first – some people might think this is unusual because I am the only child and my husband had a sibling.
As an only child with ageing parents I began to think about how our daughter would feel about the lack of ‘close family’ (ie a sibling) when we were elderly or no longer around. Personally I am fortunate because I have a close relationship with cousins who are a similar age to me (‘sisters’ without the sibling rivalry); our daughter’s cousins are much older than her and don’t have much in common – so I knew she was not necessarily going to have that relationship to fall back on. Our daughter does have a close relationship with her orphanage ‘sisters’ but I was unclear whether that would be long term a ‘substitute’ for a sibling.
The issue of having someone in the family with a ‘shared experience’ also was at the back of my mind.
We headed back to China on a return visit two years after our daughter’s adoption (part of our plan to try and visit China every two years) still with the belief that she would be an only child.
We spent three days in her ‘home’ town and had unlimited access to the orphanage. She had a great time visiting and playing with the babies, as did we. And while you can’t but feel moved by all these little ones wanting to be picked up and held, our decision to adopt again was not a lightening bolt at this point. But I do think it igniting a slow fuse in all three of us.
We returned to home and our daughter continued to talk constantly about the babies in the orphanage - what they were doing now? had their families come for them yet? Her interest in babies was heightened (actually ignited I guess because I don’t recall it being there before).
I started thinking more strongly about giving our daughter a sibling but didn’t mention anything to my husband. But a couple of weeks after our return, the possibility of a promotion came up for my husband and one of the first things out of his mouth was ‘if I got this promotion we could afford to adopt again’ (not that I ever thought money was a barrier). The ‘door’ was slightly ajar and I made sure I got my foot firmly planted in it before it shut again.
‘My foot got quite bruised’ there for a while as my husband tried to pull the door shut again. But as he had raised the topic first he knew I knew he had been thinking about it. Numerous discussions about the pros and cons ensued. But once we made our decision it was full speed ahead and my husband got me to phone the Case Worker the next day.
I have to say the decision was not taken lightly and I think that the second time around the decision was more complex than the first time. The first time we were fulfilling a need in us to provide for a child. The second time we had to factor in the short and long term impact of a decision either way on our first child. And the responsibility of that did weigh on us.
The next big decision was whether to tell our daughter about our plans or not. We decided that it was very important for her to know, not least as a way for her to understand why it had taken us so long to be ‘united’ with her.
We had named our daughter before we were allocated (actually more like 7 years before we were allocated). And she has helped select the name for her future sister – actually she had the casting vote as my husband and I preferred different names – she went with my choice (good girl).
She participated very loudly in our homestudy interviews (as she was 3 ½ yo at the time she did not have to be formally interviewed). In simple terms, she knew we had to write to the officials in China and ask to adopt her sister and the social worker was helping us to write this ‘letter’.
When she started pre-school at the beginning of the year, her classmates’ families were experiencing a mini-baby boom. At this point she so wanted to have a sibling and it helped her to know one would be on the way eventually (she knows it will be long time) and she happily tells her friends she is getting a sister or sometimes it is she ‘has a sister and she is in China’ (on occasions this has not been communicated correctly by her friends back to their parents because I have been asked ‘where is your other child?’).
Although she knows it will be a long time, she doesn’t quite have the concept of exactly how long ‘long’ might be (in fact we don’t either). As the wait continues to extend I occasionally have my doubts about did we tell her too soon, but then we have an animated and joyful conversation (at her request) about what it will be like when her sister comes home and everything feels right again.
I have had a few people outside adoption circles question why we told her, when the wait is so long - most notably my doctor who said ‘how are you going to deal with it if the adoption doesn’t happen?’ – I said no differently than the families of any of your patients that experiences the loss of a baby through miscarriage or still birth – we would all grieve for the loss. This was not something that I had actively considered before, but there are always risks in life, and intercountry adoption, you either embrace them or you hide from them.
Wednesday 27 December 2006
Thursday 21 December 2006
Six months down...
Well today marks our 6 month anniversary since log in. The $64million question is are we 1/3, 1/4, 1/5 through? Only time will tell.
Looking back this last month has seemed to take an age to get through but in other aspects it hasn't - it is not like I have had heaps of downtime to mull over the wait, I've been really busy. Maybe it is the looming holiday season.
Looking back this last month has seemed to take an age to get through but in other aspects it hasn't - it is not like I have had heaps of downtime to mull over the wait, I've been really busy. Maybe it is the looming holiday season.
Thursday 7 December 2006
The Tough Questions
On a regular basis I am reminded that our adopted children are getting older and with it more observant and more likely to start asking us the ‘difficult questions’– such things as was daughter asking where her friend’s dad was (her friend’s mum is single); or attending a China adoption event and seeing all these little people with big personalities (and attitude to burn) running around – I remember a time when there was one or two babes in arms fresh home from China and a whole heap of clucky ‘expectant parents’.
Am I prepared? I don’t think I am but I am trying my best to rehearse in my head what I might say when the tough questions are asked. I just know that these are likely to be asked when I least expect it – like when I’m driving (and likely to take us into a ditch). And then it is likely to be a question I haven’t ‘rehearsed’.
Having listened to adoption specialists talk and read their articles, I realise that it is important to talk as naturally as possible about adoption issues from the outset with our children - to create and maintain communication channels. To be the one that your children hears things from first – not in the school yard, not from friends, not from strangers.
Issues such as baby trading in China are ones that our children need to hear about from us, first. People have long memories, it may be many years down the track when someone dredges their memory and says to our children ‘they sell babies in China, I read it in the paper’. How devastating it would be for our children and our relationship of trust with them if this is the first they had heard of the issue.
It would be easy to say ‘oh, that is a Hunan or Yunnan issue, my child is from…’. Sadly, our children do not come to us with a history of how they entered into the SWI system, even the information that is provided may be a legal ‘falsehood’ (for instance the finding site location may not have a street number but one is made up because the form requires it). We are presented with a series of unknowns and a series of possible hypotheses, that we may not ever be able to test, prove or disprove. But I feel that it important that we share all the possibilities with them no matter how remote they might be, however painful they may seem to us.
When is a good time, well I’m the first to admit that I don’t have that answer – I intend to incorporate age appropriate additional information into our story as time goes by. I think the age of the ‘serious mother/daughter bolt from the blue talk’ (mention it once and lets move on) is long past.
I’m keeping a ‘file’ of relevant material from this period, as an aide memoire for our discussions but also I can let my daughter read these for herself in years to come and draw her own conclusions.
It is so easy to romanticise the events surrounding how our children came to be with us, the children may do so themselves. There are lies and there are lies of omission – both can damage trust in a relationship if discovered. We owe it to our kids, to ourselves and to our long term relationship with them to be as upfront as possible, to communicate and keep communicating with them. To encourage those difficult questions (even if you are trying not to drive into the ditch) and try and answer them as best we can. And if we can’t, we need to be upfront with the kids that we don’t always have all the answers, that sometimes there are just more questions.
Baby Trade timeline
late November 2005 - the Shanghai Daily reports allegations of baby trading allegedly involving orphanages in Hunan’s Qidong County, People’s Republic of China. The paper reported that an alleged baby trader was arrested and made a series of allegations to police that he sold babies to orphanages and social welfare institutions. The paper reported that subsequently police detained 27 managers and workers at the Hengyang County orphanage including Jiang Zhenghua, the orphanage's director; Wang Weihong, the Party secretary of the orphanage, and He Yuhua, an accountant.
Late November/Early December 2005 – issue is carried widely in a variety of overseas media.
14 February 2006 – Jackie Kelly MP is widely reported as saying adopting children from China risked encouraging an international "trade in babies". "I think you do have issues there with the West continuing to plunder the Third World for kids now," Ms Kelly said. "It leads to trade in people. You create a trade in babies. You just don't want to put mothers in that situation where you've got an option of selling a child on the sly to support your other children."
The Australian China adoption community roundly condemns these comments. A range of Australian media have coverage of these comments..
Late February 2006 – trial of the alleged baby traders in Hunan takes place. Chen Ming, the head of Hengdong Social Welfare home, was sentenced on Friday but he is apparently 'on the run'. The heads of Hengyang and Hengdong county civil affairs bureaus, were removed from their posts for their negligence of duties. The officials in charge of the social welfare homes were also sacked. Sentences ranged from 3 to 13 years.
Early March 2006 – alleged baby traders in Yunnan Province arrested - 12 baby boys were allegedly sold, all were allegedly abducted but now returned to their families.
12 March 2006 – Washington Post does a major follow up article on the Hunan baby trade.; Sunday Telegraph (Sydney) reports the same day on the baby trade issue.
16 March 2006 – Associated Press reports that the CCAA has assured US Government officials that no children adopted to the USA had been abducted.
20 March 2006 – DHS Victoria advises that CCAA advice is that the children adopted by Australian families were not involved in the child trafficking; on that day it is reported that the ring leaders arrested in Yunnan for baby trading had been convicted and sentenced to death; other members received from four years to life sentences.
24 March 2006 – reported that a Ms Lin, part of a five-member gang in Fujian Province, involved in trafficking 31 baby boys, one of whom died, had been executed for her crime
Am I prepared? I don’t think I am but I am trying my best to rehearse in my head what I might say when the tough questions are asked. I just know that these are likely to be asked when I least expect it – like when I’m driving (and likely to take us into a ditch). And then it is likely to be a question I haven’t ‘rehearsed’.
Having listened to adoption specialists talk and read their articles, I realise that it is important to talk as naturally as possible about adoption issues from the outset with our children - to create and maintain communication channels. To be the one that your children hears things from first – not in the school yard, not from friends, not from strangers.
Issues such as baby trading in China are ones that our children need to hear about from us, first. People have long memories, it may be many years down the track when someone dredges their memory and says to our children ‘they sell babies in China, I read it in the paper’. How devastating it would be for our children and our relationship of trust with them if this is the first they had heard of the issue.
It would be easy to say ‘oh, that is a Hunan or Yunnan issue, my child is from…’. Sadly, our children do not come to us with a history of how they entered into the SWI system, even the information that is provided may be a legal ‘falsehood’ (for instance the finding site location may not have a street number but one is made up because the form requires it). We are presented with a series of unknowns and a series of possible hypotheses, that we may not ever be able to test, prove or disprove. But I feel that it important that we share all the possibilities with them no matter how remote they might be, however painful they may seem to us.
When is a good time, well I’m the first to admit that I don’t have that answer – I intend to incorporate age appropriate additional information into our story as time goes by. I think the age of the ‘serious mother/daughter bolt from the blue talk’ (mention it once and lets move on) is long past.
I’m keeping a ‘file’ of relevant material from this period, as an aide memoire for our discussions but also I can let my daughter read these for herself in years to come and draw her own conclusions.
It is so easy to romanticise the events surrounding how our children came to be with us, the children may do so themselves. There are lies and there are lies of omission – both can damage trust in a relationship if discovered. We owe it to our kids, to ourselves and to our long term relationship with them to be as upfront as possible, to communicate and keep communicating with them. To encourage those difficult questions (even if you are trying not to drive into the ditch) and try and answer them as best we can. And if we can’t, we need to be upfront with the kids that we don’t always have all the answers, that sometimes there are just more questions.
Baby Trade timeline
late November 2005 - the Shanghai Daily reports allegations of baby trading allegedly involving orphanages in Hunan’s Qidong County, People’s Republic of China. The paper reported that an alleged baby trader was arrested and made a series of allegations to police that he sold babies to orphanages and social welfare institutions. The paper reported that subsequently police detained 27 managers and workers at the Hengyang County orphanage including Jiang Zhenghua, the orphanage's director; Wang Weihong, the Party secretary of the orphanage, and He Yuhua, an accountant.
Late November/Early December 2005 – issue is carried widely in a variety of overseas media.
14 February 2006 – Jackie Kelly MP is widely reported as saying adopting children from China risked encouraging an international "trade in babies". "I think you do have issues there with the West continuing to plunder the Third World for kids now," Ms Kelly said. "It leads to trade in people. You create a trade in babies. You just don't want to put mothers in that situation where you've got an option of selling a child on the sly to support your other children."
The Australian China adoption community roundly condemns these comments. A range of Australian media have coverage of these comments..
Late February 2006 – trial of the alleged baby traders in Hunan takes place. Chen Ming, the head of Hengdong Social Welfare home, was sentenced on Friday but he is apparently 'on the run'. The heads of Hengyang and Hengdong county civil affairs bureaus, were removed from their posts for their negligence of duties. The officials in charge of the social welfare homes were also sacked. Sentences ranged from 3 to 13 years.
Early March 2006 – alleged baby traders in Yunnan Province arrested - 12 baby boys were allegedly sold, all were allegedly abducted but now returned to their families.
12 March 2006 – Washington Post does a major follow up article on the Hunan baby trade.; Sunday Telegraph (Sydney) reports the same day on the baby trade issue.
16 March 2006 – Associated Press reports that the CCAA has assured US Government officials that no children adopted to the USA had been abducted.
20 March 2006 – DHS Victoria advises that CCAA advice is that the children adopted by Australian families were not involved in the child trafficking; on that day it is reported that the ring leaders arrested in Yunnan for baby trading had been convicted and sentenced to death; other members received from four years to life sentences.
24 March 2006 – reported that a Ms Lin, part of a five-member gang in Fujian Province, involved in trafficking 31 baby boys, one of whom died, had been executed for her crime
Saturday 2 December 2006
So now it is December...
In a way the year has gone fast and in other ways quite slowly.
This time last year we had only just lodged our expression of interest to adopt again and were waiting for the Adoption Unit to send us the application forms (which of course took them weeks - but then that was the first of the delays).
January saw the start of our homestudy and in March - 4 years and 1 day after approval to adopt our first daughter - we were approved to adopt again. Paperchase was fast but then we had to wait for our batch to form and weren't DTC until mid June.
In many ways the 5 and a bit months since then have flown, in other ways it hasn't. So much has happened at work since then but not knowing how long it will be till allocation makes 'career' planning difficult.
Our daughter is just about to finish pre-school for the Christmas holidays and of course we are already making plans for the new school year. In a way this helps to break the wait down a little - by the time she returns to preschool we will be another 2 months down.
I am being (trying to be) more sanguine about the wait this time but I still felt acute disappointment that this month we again did not see the wait stabilise. If they continue to allocate 14 'calendar' LIDs per month we are looking a 26 month wait (which of course is slap bang in the middle of the Beijing Olypmics - what wrinkles will that put in the program). But then we still have to get through the 'big' months of October and November 2005 and I really think that that will see a drop in the number of LIDs matched. Lets hope when we get into the 2006 LIDs we will see some stabilisation (if not before).
But each day that passes is one day closer. One day at a time...
This time last year we had only just lodged our expression of interest to adopt again and were waiting for the Adoption Unit to send us the application forms (which of course took them weeks - but then that was the first of the delays).
January saw the start of our homestudy and in March - 4 years and 1 day after approval to adopt our first daughter - we were approved to adopt again. Paperchase was fast but then we had to wait for our batch to form and weren't DTC until mid June.
In many ways the 5 and a bit months since then have flown, in other ways it hasn't. So much has happened at work since then but not knowing how long it will be till allocation makes 'career' planning difficult.
Our daughter is just about to finish pre-school for the Christmas holidays and of course we are already making plans for the new school year. In a way this helps to break the wait down a little - by the time she returns to preschool we will be another 2 months down.
I am being (trying to be) more sanguine about the wait this time but I still felt acute disappointment that this month we again did not see the wait stabilise. If they continue to allocate 14 'calendar' LIDs per month we are looking a 26 month wait (which of course is slap bang in the middle of the Beijing Olypmics - what wrinkles will that put in the program). But then we still have to get through the 'big' months of October and November 2005 and I really think that that will see a drop in the number of LIDs matched. Lets hope when we get into the 2006 LIDs we will see some stabilisation (if not before).
But each day that passes is one day closer. One day at a time...
Monday 27 November 2006
What were the most memorable parts of our trips to China?
Well I have to say the most memorable part of our trips to China have been getting out and meeting the locals.
Grabbing a hotel card (with details in Chinese and English - just in case you get lost), a local map, and a camera and getting out amongst the daily life. Don't take too much stuff with you - you don't want to make yourself a 'target' - just what you can easily manage. Don't forget your sense of adventure and your sense of direction.
It helps to have a few words of Chinese or a good phrase book. In the provincial cities we visited we found that English was variably spoken in the hotel (ie a few staff had very good English, some had passable English and the lower level staff very little) but usually vary rarely spoken outside the hotel - so knowing a few words of Chinese gets you a long way.
Getting out and about gives you a glimpse of day to day life in China and you can make some really interesting discoveries.
For instance in Chengdu, Chongqing and Fuling I found some great local shops in the pedestrian subways that went for miles - the same products as in the Dept store next to our hotel but half the price.
You get to interact with the locals. Sometimes they will just stop and stare or they may walk past and giggle or they might stop and try and strike up a conversation with you (particularly if they have studied some English and want to practice).
Sometimes they will stand back en masse but then something will give and you are inundated with people. For instance in Chongqing there are young people handing out advertising on business card size pieces of card - these people are everywhere, trusting the cards into the hands of locals. On our first trip and first street promenade we were given a wide berth, until one young boy trust a card at me and said 'hello' and responded with a 'ni hao' and then it was on for young and old - every street card provider wanted to give us theirs and say 'hello' or 'ni hao' - my husband and I got a stack each over 3 inches high - all absolutely useless to us (they were for local phone companies and travel agents as far as I could tell). But it did give us a priceless memory.
When walking with my daughter in Chengdu we saw some very interesting street life - people selling little tortoises (I tell myself they were pets but I think they were for eating), origami insects made out of bamboo leaves and my daughter's favourite - the man standing on his head on the street corner. She spoke about him for weeks afterwards - what was he doing, why was he doing it, is he still there? I marvelled at the fact that he narrowly missed having someone spit in his face (not that they intended to but there is still a large amount of expectorating that occurs in the street).
In Fuling I just got out and wandered around the streets - particularly around the orphanage (which will move in 2008) and recorded street life with my camera - the lady selling eggs, the fruit seller, the market stalls, the laundry hanging from a tree. Just anything to capture the memories for when my daughter is older and the orphanage is no longer on that site.
In Chongqing, we were also exposed to some of the less fortunate members of society - people begging in the street. But it was not the 'in your face' aggressive type of begging - for the most part the people look abjectly 'ashamed' of their situation. It was very confronting stuff - destitute women, severely disfigured lepers, amputees. It was very difficult to walk past them and not want to give them some money - but unfortunately they were generally positioned in areas that would have put me at 'risk' if I had pulled out my wallet and started passing money around. They are images that stay with me - definitely not the usual travel memories but they do give an insight into the plight of people in a country with no social security.
It is very easy to want to stay within the safe air conditioned confines of your hotel, where the staff (for the most part speak English) and only venture out with your guide. But miss out on a lot of the experience of really being in China - the sights, the smells and the sounds. But being a little adventurous will yield you with memories you aren't going to find in a guide book.
Grabbing a hotel card (with details in Chinese and English - just in case you get lost), a local map, and a camera and getting out amongst the daily life. Don't take too much stuff with you - you don't want to make yourself a 'target' - just what you can easily manage. Don't forget your sense of adventure and your sense of direction.
It helps to have a few words of Chinese or a good phrase book. In the provincial cities we visited we found that English was variably spoken in the hotel (ie a few staff had very good English, some had passable English and the lower level staff very little) but usually vary rarely spoken outside the hotel - so knowing a few words of Chinese gets you a long way.
Getting out and about gives you a glimpse of day to day life in China and you can make some really interesting discoveries.
For instance in Chengdu, Chongqing and Fuling I found some great local shops in the pedestrian subways that went for miles - the same products as in the Dept store next to our hotel but half the price.
You get to interact with the locals. Sometimes they will just stop and stare or they may walk past and giggle or they might stop and try and strike up a conversation with you (particularly if they have studied some English and want to practice).
Sometimes they will stand back en masse but then something will give and you are inundated with people. For instance in Chongqing there are young people handing out advertising on business card size pieces of card - these people are everywhere, trusting the cards into the hands of locals. On our first trip and first street promenade we were given a wide berth, until one young boy trust a card at me and said 'hello' and responded with a 'ni hao' and then it was on for young and old - every street card provider wanted to give us theirs and say 'hello' or 'ni hao' - my husband and I got a stack each over 3 inches high - all absolutely useless to us (they were for local phone companies and travel agents as far as I could tell). But it did give us a priceless memory.
When walking with my daughter in Chengdu we saw some very interesting street life - people selling little tortoises (I tell myself they were pets but I think they were for eating), origami insects made out of bamboo leaves and my daughter's favourite - the man standing on his head on the street corner. She spoke about him for weeks afterwards - what was he doing, why was he doing it, is he still there? I marvelled at the fact that he narrowly missed having someone spit in his face (not that they intended to but there is still a large amount of expectorating that occurs in the street).
In Fuling I just got out and wandered around the streets - particularly around the orphanage (which will move in 2008) and recorded street life with my camera - the lady selling eggs, the fruit seller, the market stalls, the laundry hanging from a tree. Just anything to capture the memories for when my daughter is older and the orphanage is no longer on that site.
In Chongqing, we were also exposed to some of the less fortunate members of society - people begging in the street. But it was not the 'in your face' aggressive type of begging - for the most part the people look abjectly 'ashamed' of their situation. It was very confronting stuff - destitute women, severely disfigured lepers, amputees. It was very difficult to walk past them and not want to give them some money - but unfortunately they were generally positioned in areas that would have put me at 'risk' if I had pulled out my wallet and started passing money around. They are images that stay with me - definitely not the usual travel memories but they do give an insight into the plight of people in a country with no social security.
It is very easy to want to stay within the safe air conditioned confines of your hotel, where the staff (for the most part speak English) and only venture out with your guide. But miss out on a lot of the experience of really being in China - the sights, the smells and the sounds. But being a little adventurous will yield you with memories you aren't going to find in a guide book.
Thursday 23 November 2006
Christmas is a time for giving...how about giving a gift that makes a difference
I think that as you get older you realise that the person that dies with the most 'stuff', doesn't necessarily win. Rather it is probably the person that makes the most difference for the better.
Having travelled to China and visited our daughter's orphanage and also visited rural areas and seeing the poverty, it is easy to become overwhelmed and almost 'paralysed' - there is so much to do, where to start. With small steps - even the smallest amount in monetary terms in the West and have a life long impact in China.
As Christmas approaches again I begin to realise there is not much I really 'need' or even for that matter want (other than what money can't buy and which can only be given by the CCAA). Maybe you feel the same.
For many, Christmas has become a time of commercialism run rampant. We can choose instead a gift that will make a difference. Many of the children in China’s orphanages need the basics of life and a few things to make their lives a little brighter.
If you live in Australia you might like to consider making a donation to the FCC-Australia/Amity Christmas appeal.
Families with Children from China Australia Inc (FCC-Australia) is the only Australian parent group that acts solely for families who have adopted, or who are in the process of adopting children of Chinese ethnicity. FCC-Australia is run entirely on a voluntary basis. One of FCC-Australia’s major goals is to advocate for and support children remaining in orphanages in China. In the last 2 years FCC-Australia has sent almost A$30 000 to Amity from fundraising and member donations.
Through this program you can give your family a 'gift' and child in an orphanage an even bigger gift of:
Further information about FCC-Australia can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FCC-Australia
Having travelled to China and visited our daughter's orphanage and also visited rural areas and seeing the poverty, it is easy to become overwhelmed and almost 'paralysed' - there is so much to do, where to start. With small steps - even the smallest amount in monetary terms in the West and have a life long impact in China.
As Christmas approaches again I begin to realise there is not much I really 'need' or even for that matter want (other than what money can't buy and which can only be given by the CCAA). Maybe you feel the same.
For many, Christmas has become a time of commercialism run rampant. We can choose instead a gift that will make a difference. Many of the children in China’s orphanages need the basics of life and a few things to make their lives a little brighter.
If you live in Australia you might like to consider making a donation to the FCC-Australia/Amity Christmas appeal.
Families with Children from China Australia Inc (FCC-Australia) is the only Australian parent group that acts solely for families who have adopted, or who are in the process of adopting children of Chinese ethnicity. FCC-Australia is run entirely on a voluntary basis. One of FCC-Australia’s major goals is to advocate for and support children remaining in orphanages in China. In the last 2 years FCC-Australia has sent almost A$30 000 to Amity from fundraising and member donations.
Through this program you can give your family a 'gift' and child in an orphanage an even bigger gift of:
- an education;
- life-changing surgery
- books
- someone to hug or
- mobility via a wheelchair
FCC-Australia has been working with the Amity Foundation to provide some of these requirements. There is so much that needs to be done. Below are some suggestions from Amity.
- Hugging Grandmas A$750.00 per annum- These women provide the love and care that orphanage staff do not always have the resources to provide.
- Foster Care A$55.00 per month -In home family care
- Schooling A$355 per annum - Children being cared for by foster families are not guaranteed an education. Extra funds are required to provide this.
- Medical Needs (ie incubators, sterilising equipment, microscopes, medicines, vitamins,
rehab equipment) for example a wheel chair costs A$200.00
All donations by Australians are tax deductible via the National Council of Churches in Australia. If you'd like to make a gift donation FCC-Australia will send you a card with details of the supported project.
For further information about any of the projects, please contact
Jan Williamson
GPO Box 12
Hobart
Tasmania 7001
email: jwilliamson@dodo.com.au
Further information about FCC-Australia can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FCC-Australia
Wednesday 22 November 2006
A ladybird in the hand is worth...
I came home from work today to find a little ladybird snuggled on my doona cover. Well with only 5 months under our belt it can't have been visiting as a 'sign' to us - unless it is one of those really long-range forecasting ladybirds!
Anyway my daughter wanted to hold it for luck and be photographed with it, before we released it on our rose bushes where it can live happily munching on the aphids.
Tuesday 21 November 2006
5 months since LID
Well today it is 5 months since our file was logged in at the CCAA. I guess the big question is 'how much longer?'
I thought the 14 months we waited for our first daughter was long but it looks like we may well and truly exceed that this time. The wait is currently just under 15 months from LID. However, unless the CCAA is able to refer whole months of LIDs the wait won't stabilise and will continue to increase.
I have to say I am trying to be far more sanguine this time (although my husband says I am obsessed - he obviously has trouble remembering how I was last time). I was very stressed with our first wait and that was in large part a fear that it would never happen and we wouldn't be able to parent a child. And then we had the two months SARS shutdown just as our referral was due. But of course history shows it did happen.
And even though things are moving at a snails pace at least they are moving forward, which is more than can be said when the SARS shutdown was in place.
I also think that I am busier this time - working full-time, looking after my daughter, a husband, 3 cats and a new puppy takes up my time. I also have a heavy commitment in time to local adoption activities. And then there is working to raise money for children still in China. So there never seems to be a really quiet moment these days. And that leaves me less time to brood.
I thought the 14 months we waited for our first daughter was long but it looks like we may well and truly exceed that this time. The wait is currently just under 15 months from LID. However, unless the CCAA is able to refer whole months of LIDs the wait won't stabilise and will continue to increase.
I have to say I am trying to be far more sanguine this time (although my husband says I am obsessed - he obviously has trouble remembering how I was last time). I was very stressed with our first wait and that was in large part a fear that it would never happen and we wouldn't be able to parent a child. And then we had the two months SARS shutdown just as our referral was due. But of course history shows it did happen.
And even though things are moving at a snails pace at least they are moving forward, which is more than can be said when the SARS shutdown was in place.
I also think that I am busier this time - working full-time, looking after my daughter, a husband, 3 cats and a new puppy takes up my time. I also have a heavy commitment in time to local adoption activities. And then there is working to raise money for children still in China. So there never seems to be a really quiet moment these days. And that leaves me less time to brood.
Monday 20 November 2006
It is when you hear from the girls themselves that it makes the sponsorship a million times more important
I just wanted to share two letters from one of the girls (I have blanked out to protect her privacy) we sponsor in our daughter's hometown. It really sums up the aspirations of these young girls and shows that what is really so little, in western monetary terms, can make such a difference for them and allows them to keep their dream alive.
Dear Aunt,
My Mum left me , my Dad got very sick, the financial situation in our family is difficulty. It was you that offered your helping hand in needed time. I am very grateful for this.
It has been more than five years since my Mum left me. I am now living with my grandpa and grandma, they care about me and tole me that I should study particularly hard under such circumstance. I am following their advices and study very hard. I concentrate during the class and complete homework seriously. I am doing well in my study.
For Chinese subject, I was ranked among the first three in the class, for maths,
I was among the first fifth. I was also good in other subjects. I also actively
take part in all sorts of activities after class. After I have done my homework. I help my grandpa and grandma with household stuff.
I will continue my efforts in studying, and keep fit so I can be a useful people when I grow up, and doing my contribution to the prosperity of our country, and do not live up to you aunt, my teachers and all person cornered.
I’d like to thank you again for your kindness and do not hesitate to let me know your expectations on me. I wish you good luck, good health and happy spring festival.
Yours sincerely
XXXX XXXX
4 Jan 2006
Class 3 Grade 5
Dear Auntie
How are you. Are you very busy at your work?
You know, I am very exciting when I am writing this letter to you.
The semester just finished, I will graduate from my primary school after
another year’s study. I did well this semester!
I achieved 96 in Chinese and 97 in math. I was appointed as a person in charge of study in our class, responsible for issues relating to study I did my best. In the final assembly, I can felt the beat of my heart because I was so nervous – I was not sure if my name could be mentioned by the school head. When my name was finally called out, I couldn’t help but jumping out. I was also awarded as "three good student (a student of overall accomplishment – translator’s note) I wish I could fly to your home and tell you these good news in person. I am sure you will be exciting when you read about this.
Auntie, I take this chance to thank you, it was you raise my hope to life, it was you that give me confident, you look after me just like my next-skin.
I will not live up to your expectation, I will study well. No matter how poor my family is, I determine to go to university for further study.
My dream is to become a teacher. This might not be a greatest job, but I like to be a teacher since I was a child. I found out teachers worked very hard for us, I think they give a lot then take in. To be a teacher is my dream and I will fight for realising this dream.
Wish you best of luck and good health,
XXXX XXXX
6 July 2006
Dear Aunt,
My Mum left me , my Dad got very sick, the financial situation in our family is difficulty. It was you that offered your helping hand in needed time. I am very grateful for this.
It has been more than five years since my Mum left me. I am now living with my grandpa and grandma, they care about me and tole me that I should study particularly hard under such circumstance. I am following their advices and study very hard. I concentrate during the class and complete homework seriously. I am doing well in my study.
For Chinese subject, I was ranked among the first three in the class, for maths,
I was among the first fifth. I was also good in other subjects. I also actively
take part in all sorts of activities after class. After I have done my homework. I help my grandpa and grandma with household stuff.
I will continue my efforts in studying, and keep fit so I can be a useful people when I grow up, and doing my contribution to the prosperity of our country, and do not live up to you aunt, my teachers and all person cornered.
I’d like to thank you again for your kindness and do not hesitate to let me know your expectations on me. I wish you good luck, good health and happy spring festival.
Yours sincerely
XXXX XXXX
4 Jan 2006
Class 3 Grade 5
Dear Auntie
How are you. Are you very busy at your work?
You know, I am very exciting when I am writing this letter to you.
The semester just finished, I will graduate from my primary school after
another year’s study. I did well this semester!
I achieved 96 in Chinese and 97 in math. I was appointed as a person in charge of study in our class, responsible for issues relating to study I did my best. In the final assembly, I can felt the beat of my heart because I was so nervous – I was not sure if my name could be mentioned by the school head. When my name was finally called out, I couldn’t help but jumping out. I was also awarded as "three good student (a student of overall accomplishment – translator’s note) I wish I could fly to your home and tell you these good news in person. I am sure you will be exciting when you read about this.
Auntie, I take this chance to thank you, it was you raise my hope to life, it was you that give me confident, you look after me just like my next-skin.
I will not live up to your expectation, I will study well. No matter how poor my family is, I determine to go to university for further study.
My dream is to become a teacher. This might not be a greatest job, but I like to be a teacher since I was a child. I found out teachers worked very hard for us, I think they give a lot then take in. To be a teacher is my dream and I will fight for realising this dream.
Wish you best of luck and good health,
XXXX XXXX
6 July 2006
I do hope this girl can realise her dream - she may one day study at the Fuling Teacher's College that featured in River Town- to know that our small contribution now could change not only her life but that of the children she might teach is an awesome concept!
But the road for her to realise her dream is steep. She has to be able to continue her schooling. Ane she needs to continue with her good grades. Then she will have to sit the National University exams - these are highly competitive.
And then comes the biggest hurdle - paying for the college education. My friend in Chongqing tells me that the degree/diploma takes 4 years to complete and that it costs about 6000 yuan per annum for tuiton and board but on top of that they have to pay for food and books. So if her family cannot afford for her to go to school now (at 1/20th of that cost) how can they hope to find that kind of money for a college education.
To date I have not been able to find a scheme that could assist her, and those with dreams like hers, to achieve her ambition. But hopefully in the coming years I will be able to identify some route.
Sunday 19 November 2006
Taking our daughter back to visit her orphanage
In September 2005 we took our daughter back to China for a holiday and an visit to her hometown and her orphanage. Despite my concerns prior to our visit she loved being able to visit the babies everyday while we were in Fuling.
I'm not sure that she had any conscious memories of the SWI (even though she was 13 1/2 months when we were united). But we talked about it a lot in the lead up to our trip - she knew she would be visiting the babies and meeting her nannies.
Being a typical shy 3 yo she didn't really want to have anything to do with the nannies when we arrived - it always takes her some time to warm up to a new social setting. This was hard for Director Yang and the nannies because they really wanted to give her a hug. But she did agree to sit on our friend's lap next to DirectorYang and look through the photo album we took (after all it was about her favourite subject - herself).
But as soon as that was over she announced that she wanted to see 'Her room' and 'her cot' now. So in we went - me with my heart in my mouth because I didn't know how she would react when she saw it - I needn't have worried she took it like a trooper, straight over the barrier.
I don't know if any of you are familiar with the classic British sci-fi 'Dr Who' but if you are the next scene was like the invasion ofthe Dalek - because a wall of babies in baby walkers surged towards her and surrounded her. She was completely trapped and little hands were reaching out to her - that she didn't mind but she didn't like being trapped. The babies did the same to me but I was able to stepover. At one point I tried to move forward but something was stopping me - the strap on my bag was hanging down and I found onevery determined but happy (I've caught you!) baby hanging off the end of it - not sure if she was trying to stop me getting away or thought she might get a tow.
In relation to the 'her cot' we showed her where we were told her cot stood on our visit to collect her. She was so interested in seeing what was in the cots. There were definitely less babies inthe room that we visited immediately post SARS in 2003 and therefore less cots.
There were also areas of matting near the TVs and we saw a number of babies out of their walkers and being given the opportunity to crawlaround and explore.
Our daughter wanted to know what the babies were wearing, what they were playing with and what they were doing. She wanted to know where their nappies (diapers) were and was fascinated with the split pants (to the point of becoming our official split pant spotter for the rest of our China trip). She witnessed a few lightening fast nappy changes.
We gave Emily her own camera to record her trip and the babies - she loved it. And throughout the visit she would buzz in and out of the rooms to visit the babies and take photos.
The babies still watch the big screen TV and love music - at one point they were all outside on the verandah and the nannies turn onthe TV - it must have been time for a favourite program because as soon as they heard the theme music there was a stampede back intothe room. We have to report that there are quite a few little 'headbangers' in the making because they were all bopping along in their walkers like they were at a heavy metal concert - it was a hoot.
On other occasions the nannies turned music on and clapped and danced and the babies were bopping and grooving along.
What really impressed me is that some of the babies were really babywalker artists - they would twirl and twist those walkers and hurtle forward and backwards giggling away.
Our daughter had a great visit and I'm sure she has some lovely new memories of the SWI - she is still talking about the babies and the nannies (even a year later - and that she would like the babies at childcare to wear split pants).
I'm not sure that she had any conscious memories of the SWI (even though she was 13 1/2 months when we were united). But we talked about it a lot in the lead up to our trip - she knew she would be visiting the babies and meeting her nannies.
Being a typical shy 3 yo she didn't really want to have anything to do with the nannies when we arrived - it always takes her some time to warm up to a new social setting. This was hard for Director Yang and the nannies because they really wanted to give her a hug. But she did agree to sit on our friend's lap next to DirectorYang and look through the photo album we took (after all it was about her favourite subject - herself).
But as soon as that was over she announced that she wanted to see 'Her room' and 'her cot' now. So in we went - me with my heart in my mouth because I didn't know how she would react when she saw it - I needn't have worried she took it like a trooper, straight over the barrier.
I don't know if any of you are familiar with the classic British sci-fi 'Dr Who' but if you are the next scene was like the invasion ofthe Dalek - because a wall of babies in baby walkers surged towards her and surrounded her. She was completely trapped and little hands were reaching out to her - that she didn't mind but she didn't like being trapped. The babies did the same to me but I was able to stepover. At one point I tried to move forward but something was stopping me - the strap on my bag was hanging down and I found onevery determined but happy (I've caught you!) baby hanging off the end of it - not sure if she was trying to stop me getting away or thought she might get a tow.
In relation to the 'her cot' we showed her where we were told her cot stood on our visit to collect her. She was so interested in seeing what was in the cots. There were definitely less babies inthe room that we visited immediately post SARS in 2003 and therefore less cots.
There were also areas of matting near the TVs and we saw a number of babies out of their walkers and being given the opportunity to crawlaround and explore.
Our daughter wanted to know what the babies were wearing, what they were playing with and what they were doing. She wanted to know where their nappies (diapers) were and was fascinated with the split pants (to the point of becoming our official split pant spotter for the rest of our China trip). She witnessed a few lightening fast nappy changes.
We gave Emily her own camera to record her trip and the babies - she loved it. And throughout the visit she would buzz in and out of the rooms to visit the babies and take photos.
The babies still watch the big screen TV and love music - at one point they were all outside on the verandah and the nannies turn onthe TV - it must have been time for a favourite program because as soon as they heard the theme music there was a stampede back intothe room. We have to report that there are quite a few little 'headbangers' in the making because they were all bopping along in their walkers like they were at a heavy metal concert - it was a hoot.
On other occasions the nannies turned music on and clapped and danced and the babies were bopping and grooving along.
What really impressed me is that some of the babies were really babywalker artists - they would twirl and twist those walkers and hurtle forward and backwards giggling away.
Our daughter had a great visit and I'm sure she has some lovely new memories of the SWI - she is still talking about the babies and the nannies (even a year later - and that she would like the babies at childcare to wear split pants).
Saturday 18 November 2006
How do the carers in the orphanages keep track of the babies?
It had not occurred to me to even consider this until I made the return trip to my daughter's orphanage in Fuling.
I knew that the cots had the babies' names on them but how did they keep track of 30 babies in baby walkers in a room and not put them back in the wrong cot.
Well during our visit in September 2005 we found out - actually our friend who travelled with us and translated for us pointed it out to me first (I was having too much fun photographing babies swarming around me to see the detail).
Each of the babies had their name (or at least the last character) written on their forearms. Actually having spoken with the nannies those who are working with the babies day in day out know them all by name, so the name on the arm wouldn't be necessary for them.
However, we did see the medical staff come in and administer injections to some of the babies who were poorly and I think that this is probably when the name on the arm becomes very important.
Our friend stayed at the SWI and was able to observe the early morning routine (while we were struggling to get a 3 yo back at the hotel to wake up get dressed and have breakfast - mind you the question 'do you want to go and see the babies' worked wonders) -when she visited the rooms before breakfast in the SWI canteen shes aid that the medical staff were giving all the babies regular checkups. We also observed the nannies regularly taking temperatures of those children with runny noses etc (or signs of upper respiratory tract infections).
Friday 17 November 2006
Fuling - A River Town set on Fast Forward
"…Fuling slipped out of sight quickly. I stared out the window at the city and mountains, trying to grasp more into my memory. But who knows what will be when I come back next time? ..."
I couldn't put it better - but this is a quote from one of Peter Hessler's (author of River Town) students about leaving Fuling (Changing Course by Peter Hessler, Time Asia, 2003). It is how I felt in 2003 when we left Fuling after our flying visit to collect our daughter from Fuling SWI and it is most definitely how I felt leaving Fuling after our extended visit. Only difference is this time I know how quickly things are moving in Fuling - this is a town that has been on fast forward since Peter Hessler wrote about his time there approximately 8 years ago.
In fact, although I knew that the River Town of Hessler's time had changed I still suffered what I can only describe as a kind of 'culture shock' trying to equate the town I had read about and the one I was walking through. Yes there are still parts of Fuling exactly how Hessler described it but there is the modern Fuling with modern buildings and chain stores (I even found a baby boutique which was better stocked with Huggies, Pampers, formula and babyfood than anything I saw in Chongqing city).
The new dykes have cut a swathe through what would have been 'old town' - the dyke area will be Fuling's answer to Shanghai's Bund -you can walk along the top and get views of the river, underneath will be shops and cafes. But when we were there these were still empty (hardly surprising because the rent advertised on the signs was huge even in our terms) - Vice Director Huang who took us there said they should open soon. Behind the dykes there is a large area of cleared land - part of it is a construction site. We were told that this a museum for White Crane Ridge - this will incorporate an underwater viewing of the rock which will/is submerged by the rising Three Gorges waters (the reason for the dykes). There is a new museum in Chongqing - opposite People's Hall - and it has a piece of White Crane Ridge on display - so worth the visit.
We drove back to the orphanage through an area of old town (ala Hessler's River Town) behind the cleared land - to my surprise we were told that everything to the left (ie lower side) of the street we were on was earmarked for demolition and the right side would stay - so there were at least several streets that were still to be knocked down.
The taxi drivers didn't beep nearly as much as I had thought from Hessler's description - maybe they had toned it down or perhaps I was deaf to horns after a couple of weeks in China when everyone seems to beep every 5 seconds.
We noticed the development made in the area in the last 2 years even on the trip there - there was far more development along the highway from Chongqing. But I was completely surprised at how close the city was getting to the bridge. When we were there in 2003 the Taiji pharmaceutical plant was sitting by itself on side of the hill -nothing much around - it is now in quite a built up area and this extends back towards the bridge.When we visited the building site for the new orphanage with Director Yang and Vice Director Huang, Mr Huang joked that 3 years ago the current SWI lay outside the city limits now it is really in the centre - he joked that in a couple of years the new orphanage would be in a built up area and I can believe it. The new orphanage site is perched high above the Fuling side of the bridge - if you look up as you cross the bridge you can catch a glimpse of the crane on the new site.
One thing that hasn't changed with Fuling is the friendliness and the curiosity of the people - we did have a number of Hessler type moments with crowds gathering around us and firing questions at us that my Mandarin was not good enough to cope with. On one evening I took our daughter by myself to watch the night exercises on the square outside Fuling Stadium and we drew a big crowd. Fortunately one of the people who came up was a local teacher, trained at the Fuling Teacher's College, who spoke perfect English - she teaches English in one of the local schools and liked to take every opportunity to speak with native speakers (as it turned out 2 of her teachers had been Australians). She was able to translate all the questions that the crowd had and the answers - when she had to leave those in the crowd were able to tell newcomers of the who/what/where of our visit (except for one old lady who I think was telling me off for having our daughter in shorts in 35 degree heat who got very animated with me and despite my 'I don't understand' in Mandarin kept telling me in Mandarin to LISTEN). But word of our visit spread because in the following days when we were out people would gather around and Iwould hear someone say in Chinese of course- 'the daughter is a Fulinger, from the SWI'.
So Fuling is a changing town and changing rapidly (probably not interm of the pace of change in the rest of China but in comparison with the West - they can pull down and rebuild in less time than the environmental impact statement takes here)- what will it be like when we next visit. I don't know. What I do know is that we want to visit a regularly as we can afford because it the city and the people do hold a special place in our hearts.
I couldn't put it better - but this is a quote from one of Peter Hessler's (author of River Town) students about leaving Fuling (Changing Course by Peter Hessler, Time Asia, 2003). It is how I felt in 2003 when we left Fuling after our flying visit to collect our daughter from Fuling SWI and it is most definitely how I felt leaving Fuling after our extended visit. Only difference is this time I know how quickly things are moving in Fuling - this is a town that has been on fast forward since Peter Hessler wrote about his time there approximately 8 years ago.
In fact, although I knew that the River Town of Hessler's time had changed I still suffered what I can only describe as a kind of 'culture shock' trying to equate the town I had read about and the one I was walking through. Yes there are still parts of Fuling exactly how Hessler described it but there is the modern Fuling with modern buildings and chain stores (I even found a baby boutique which was better stocked with Huggies, Pampers, formula and babyfood than anything I saw in Chongqing city).
The new dykes have cut a swathe through what would have been 'old town' - the dyke area will be Fuling's answer to Shanghai's Bund -you can walk along the top and get views of the river, underneath will be shops and cafes. But when we were there these were still empty (hardly surprising because the rent advertised on the signs was huge even in our terms) - Vice Director Huang who took us there said they should open soon. Behind the dykes there is a large area of cleared land - part of it is a construction site. We were told that this a museum for White Crane Ridge - this will incorporate an underwater viewing of the rock which will/is submerged by the rising Three Gorges waters (the reason for the dykes). There is a new museum in Chongqing - opposite People's Hall - and it has a piece of White Crane Ridge on display - so worth the visit.
We drove back to the orphanage through an area of old town (ala Hessler's River Town) behind the cleared land - to my surprise we were told that everything to the left (ie lower side) of the street we were on was earmarked for demolition and the right side would stay - so there were at least several streets that were still to be knocked down.
The taxi drivers didn't beep nearly as much as I had thought from Hessler's description - maybe they had toned it down or perhaps I was deaf to horns after a couple of weeks in China when everyone seems to beep every 5 seconds.
We noticed the development made in the area in the last 2 years even on the trip there - there was far more development along the highway from Chongqing. But I was completely surprised at how close the city was getting to the bridge. When we were there in 2003 the Taiji pharmaceutical plant was sitting by itself on side of the hill -nothing much around - it is now in quite a built up area and this extends back towards the bridge.When we visited the building site for the new orphanage with Director Yang and Vice Director Huang, Mr Huang joked that 3 years ago the current SWI lay outside the city limits now it is really in the centre - he joked that in a couple of years the new orphanage would be in a built up area and I can believe it. The new orphanage site is perched high above the Fuling side of the bridge - if you look up as you cross the bridge you can catch a glimpse of the crane on the new site.
One thing that hasn't changed with Fuling is the friendliness and the curiosity of the people - we did have a number of Hessler type moments with crowds gathering around us and firing questions at us that my Mandarin was not good enough to cope with. On one evening I took our daughter by myself to watch the night exercises on the square outside Fuling Stadium and we drew a big crowd. Fortunately one of the people who came up was a local teacher, trained at the Fuling Teacher's College, who spoke perfect English - she teaches English in one of the local schools and liked to take every opportunity to speak with native speakers (as it turned out 2 of her teachers had been Australians). She was able to translate all the questions that the crowd had and the answers - when she had to leave those in the crowd were able to tell newcomers of the who/what/where of our visit (except for one old lady who I think was telling me off for having our daughter in shorts in 35 degree heat who got very animated with me and despite my 'I don't understand' in Mandarin kept telling me in Mandarin to LISTEN). But word of our visit spread because in the following days when we were out people would gather around and Iwould hear someone say in Chinese of course- 'the daughter is a Fulinger, from the SWI'.
So Fuling is a changing town and changing rapidly (probably not interm of the pace of change in the rest of China but in comparison with the West - they can pull down and rebuild in less time than the environmental impact statement takes here)- what will it be like when we next visit. I don't know. What I do know is that we want to visit a regularly as we can afford because it the city and the people do hold a special place in our hearts.
Wednesday 15 November 2006
The Diary of Ma Yan – the life of a Chinese schoolgirl - a book that had a profound impact on me
The Diary of Ma Yan – the life of a Chinese schoolgirl – transformed (edited and introduced by Pierre Haski, Virago 2002) had a profound impact on me. I came upon it by chance. I hadn’t even intended to go to the bookshop that day but I was passing during my lunch hour and decided to drop in. As usual I decided to browse the Biography section. I am always drawn to author or subject names that appear Chinese. I found a single copy of this book tucked away.
As the back cover says, this is a moving tale of a young girl who wants to overcome her impoverished existence and who prefers to go hungry so she can save for a pen.
By chance her story reached the world. In 2001 a French journalist Pierre Haski was visiting a remote region of north-western China. A peasant woman thrust into his hands pencil writings on seed packets and small notebooks. When he reached Beijing he had the writings translated and found they had been written by a 13 year old girl, Ma Yan, the peasant woman’s daughter. It contained a plea titled ‘I want to study’. Amazingly, although Ma Yan’s mother could not read the diary herself, she realised the importance of it and by handing it to a foreigner set in chain events that would transform her daughter’s and other people’s daughter’s lives.
A peasant family with 3 children they could not afford for all of them to go to school, so Ma Yan had been withdrawn so that her brothers could continue. The book clearly illustrates the life of poorly educated peasants – of the back breaking toil and struggle to provide the barest of necessities to sustain life.
Ma Yan’s burning desire to learn is clearly reflected in her writings. And the chance meeting of her mother and the journalist led to Ma Yan’s and many other being changed for the better.
The journalist published her story on his return to France and together with his readership raised enough money for Ma Yan and many other girls to go to school.
This book had a profound effect on me because it brought into focus just how hard life is for many people in China. The poverty line in China is less than USD$1 a week. It also brought into focus how difficult it for girls to receive an education. Still in this day and age educating a girl is a luxury and when resources are tight it is something that can be sacrificed. But as we know even in the West lack of education perpetuates the poverty cycle.
Education in China is not free – or sometimes it purports to be free but there are lots of extras that families have to pay for in order for the child to be educated.
So after reading this book my husband and I felt driven to sponsor girls in rural China to go to school. We were fortunate that on our return trip last year our daughter’s Chinese godmother helped us make contact with a group in our daughter’s hometown which runs a program for locals to sponsor children. With her help they agreed to allow two ‘waiguoren’ (foreigners) to participate – they had never been asked before.
Initially, we sponsored two girls who had been adopted locally and then when we returned home we found out about 3 girls, from the village that our daughter was found in, who needed sponsoring. So at the moment we sponsor the five girls. We get short letters from them (all in Chinese with the occasional English word) telling us about their lives and their studies. And in addition to the sponsorship money we send them small gifts and clothes.
It is created an amazing sense of connection between us and the area our daughter was from. We continue to support the orphanage through fundraising but this adds an extra dimension to our connection.
So a chance visit to a bookstore led me to a book about a girl desperately wanting to learn, that in turn opened my eyes it helping 5 young girls with the same burning desire.
As the back cover says, this is a moving tale of a young girl who wants to overcome her impoverished existence and who prefers to go hungry so she can save for a pen.
By chance her story reached the world. In 2001 a French journalist Pierre Haski was visiting a remote region of north-western China. A peasant woman thrust into his hands pencil writings on seed packets and small notebooks. When he reached Beijing he had the writings translated and found they had been written by a 13 year old girl, Ma Yan, the peasant woman’s daughter. It contained a plea titled ‘I want to study’. Amazingly, although Ma Yan’s mother could not read the diary herself, she realised the importance of it and by handing it to a foreigner set in chain events that would transform her daughter’s and other people’s daughter’s lives.
A peasant family with 3 children they could not afford for all of them to go to school, so Ma Yan had been withdrawn so that her brothers could continue. The book clearly illustrates the life of poorly educated peasants – of the back breaking toil and struggle to provide the barest of necessities to sustain life.
Ma Yan’s burning desire to learn is clearly reflected in her writings. And the chance meeting of her mother and the journalist led to Ma Yan’s and many other being changed for the better.
The journalist published her story on his return to France and together with his readership raised enough money for Ma Yan and many other girls to go to school.
This book had a profound effect on me because it brought into focus just how hard life is for many people in China. The poverty line in China is less than USD$1 a week. It also brought into focus how difficult it for girls to receive an education. Still in this day and age educating a girl is a luxury and when resources are tight it is something that can be sacrificed. But as we know even in the West lack of education perpetuates the poverty cycle.
Education in China is not free – or sometimes it purports to be free but there are lots of extras that families have to pay for in order for the child to be educated.
So after reading this book my husband and I felt driven to sponsor girls in rural China to go to school. We were fortunate that on our return trip last year our daughter’s Chinese godmother helped us make contact with a group in our daughter’s hometown which runs a program for locals to sponsor children. With her help they agreed to allow two ‘waiguoren’ (foreigners) to participate – they had never been asked before.
Initially, we sponsored two girls who had been adopted locally and then when we returned home we found out about 3 girls, from the village that our daughter was found in, who needed sponsoring. So at the moment we sponsor the five girls. We get short letters from them (all in Chinese with the occasional English word) telling us about their lives and their studies. And in addition to the sponsorship money we send them small gifts and clothes.
It is created an amazing sense of connection between us and the area our daughter was from. We continue to support the orphanage through fundraising but this adds an extra dimension to our connection.
So a chance visit to a bookstore led me to a book about a girl desperately wanting to learn, that in turn opened my eyes it helping 5 young girls with the same burning desire.
Sunday 12 November 2006
River Town - Two years on the Yangtze - Book Review
In 2002 when we were waiting for our first daughter, the first book I bought and read after our file was sent to China was River Town by Peter Hessler. Little did I know that the red thread had drawn me to this book.
The River Town in question turned out to be my daughter's birthplace.
In 2004 I wrote this book review. Naturally enough this book is one of my favourites but having visited the town both for the adoption and again last year, it certainly in no longer the quiet little back water it was in this book - it is a town on fast forward.
River Town, Two Years on the Yangtze Peter Hessler, 2001 Harper Collins
We were travelling down the motorway from Chongqing airport to our hotel and our guide was describing Chongqing to us. She confirmed that on Sunday we would be heading to Fuling to collect our daughters from the orphanage. She asked, what did we know about Fuling, had we read River Town?
Had I ever! In fact it was the first book I read after our file requesting a child was on its way to China. With our quest for a daughter from China came a thirst for more information about China, and I started to read autobiographies set there. Most of the personal stories I was drawn to had been written by Chinese women, many of whom had endured harsh and difficult lives but survived. So when I came to River Town it had a different voice. It was male and it looked at China, or at least the life in this isolated small (at least in Chinese terms) town on the Yangtze River, through Western eyes.
At first I was slightly annoyed by this "male, western voice", but then I realised that the problem was with my mind set, not necessarily the authors, so I made a conscious decision to set aside my concerns about the voice and just enjoy.
And enjoy I did. While reading it I harboured a secret fantasy that our daughter might come from Fuling, an absurd notion really, but of course that fantasy did come true.
River Town is by Peter Hessler, who travelled to Fuling as part of the US Peace Corp in 1996 and as the title suggests worked there for two years. Peter now lives in Beijing and works as a freelance journalist. His articles on China have been published by Time, National Geographic, and the New Yorker, among others.
The book covers his life in Fuling, his teaching experience at Fuling Teacher's College, and his travels up and down the Yangtze River and other parts of China. It details his trials trying to learn the language, of which he had little when had arrived, and finding their place in the college and the society. It also touches upon social and environmental issues that he is aware of (for example the high rate of suicide, and of course the negative consequences of the Three Gorges Dam). It does not, however, mention child abandonment or adoption.
In particular, it gave me an insight into being a minority in a relatively insular society. At the time that Hessler lived there Fuling had little contact with Westerners. Most of the time he was one of only two foreigners living in the town. Hessler and his friend, Peace Corp worker Adam Meier, had a large degree of novelty value for some locals. They were isolated by lack of language and lack of understanding of the prevailing culture and looked physically quite different from those around them. (I was reminded of this aspect of the book when in Chongqing and as the only two westerners on the street, my hulking 6'61/2" husband attracted stares and much laughter, and then a very inquisitive crowd. Later my husband "caused' a bus accident when the driver braked to get a better look at him and two other buses rear-ended him. no one seemed to mind. There were no injuries and all the passengers got a good long look at my husband, but I digress).
For a Fuling parent, the rich description of daily life in Fuling and of the surrounding countryside is worth its weight in gold. Fuling barely rates a mention in most guide books. But Fuling does come across as a dirty, polluted and noisy town (the constant honking of car horns). Hessler vividly describes the steep streets, laneways, and the "stick stick" men (the men with the bamboo poles for carrying goods on. We saw many stick/stick men in Chongqing). He gives us a picture of the changing seasons on Raise the Flag Mountain and White Flat Mountain and the significance of White Crane Ridge (which unfortunately is lost from sight forever due to the rising waters cause by the Three Gorges Dam). The only thing I think it could have benefited from was some photographs of the area, rather than just leaving it to the word pictures. (This is a purely personal. I love to read biographies and travelogues and thumb through the pictures; also it would have been a valuable additional "resource" for our Fulingers).
Hessler's book also made me realise that despite the veneer of an emerging capitalist society, China is (was) still at its heart a communist country and as such there is still a reluctance to speak out on some issues, particularly to westerners. The college administration has strong Communist party allegiances (if not membership). Hessler provides a vivid description of the students "joy" (which to this reader appear by some to be heartfelt but on another level orchestrated) at the return of Hong Kong to the motherland and their mourning the death of the Chinese leader, Deng Xiaoping (who had grown up to the northeast of Chongqing).
I eagerly acknowledged to our guide that I had read River Town. In a slightly embarrassed tone she responded that Fuling was not like that. Did she mean not anymore? "Chongqing [of which she considered Fuling to be part, the whole area being a municipality] is very modern. The government has spent a lot of money here."
It was clear that from the way that she carefully chose her words--in the way that many Chinese people can, saying so little but meaning so much - that she found book slightly embarrassing, perhaps a slight on her "home town" and she did not want us to get the wrong impression.
And with that comment I readjusted my thinking slightly on River Town. Yes, it is a fantastic read but it does describe a Fuling of nearly seven years ago. Not a long time you might think, but China is rapidly changing. To take assume Hessler's depiction is still completely accurate would be like looking at 1960s USA (or any other western country) and saying that is how it still is now, when infact it is a "generation" later. The Fuling of the book is isolated --to get to Chongqing took 6 hours by boat --and thus has very little contact with Westerners. Now you can zip down the motorway in less than two hours. This is also pre-Three Gorges Dam Fuling. Physically Fuling has been changed by this massive project. Dykes have been built and low lying areas are being flooded. At the same time there has been increased investment and building. Before there were no traffic lights, now there are. Then there was no overseas adoption, now there is.
So read this book and enjoy this "historical" insight into a remote Chinese town, but don't assume that this is exactly how it is now.
The River Town in question turned out to be my daughter's birthplace.
In 2004 I wrote this book review. Naturally enough this book is one of my favourites but having visited the town both for the adoption and again last year, it certainly in no longer the quiet little back water it was in this book - it is a town on fast forward.
River Town, Two Years on the Yangtze Peter Hessler, 2001 Harper Collins
We were travelling down the motorway from Chongqing airport to our hotel and our guide was describing Chongqing to us. She confirmed that on Sunday we would be heading to Fuling to collect our daughters from the orphanage. She asked, what did we know about Fuling, had we read River Town?
Had I ever! In fact it was the first book I read after our file requesting a child was on its way to China. With our quest for a daughter from China came a thirst for more information about China, and I started to read autobiographies set there. Most of the personal stories I was drawn to had been written by Chinese women, many of whom had endured harsh and difficult lives but survived. So when I came to River Town it had a different voice. It was male and it looked at China, or at least the life in this isolated small (at least in Chinese terms) town on the Yangtze River, through Western eyes.
At first I was slightly annoyed by this "male, western voice", but then I realised that the problem was with my mind set, not necessarily the authors, so I made a conscious decision to set aside my concerns about the voice and just enjoy.
And enjoy I did. While reading it I harboured a secret fantasy that our daughter might come from Fuling, an absurd notion really, but of course that fantasy did come true.
River Town is by Peter Hessler, who travelled to Fuling as part of the US Peace Corp in 1996 and as the title suggests worked there for two years. Peter now lives in Beijing and works as a freelance journalist. His articles on China have been published by Time, National Geographic, and the New Yorker, among others.
The book covers his life in Fuling, his teaching experience at Fuling Teacher's College, and his travels up and down the Yangtze River and other parts of China. It details his trials trying to learn the language, of which he had little when had arrived, and finding their place in the college and the society. It also touches upon social and environmental issues that he is aware of (for example the high rate of suicide, and of course the negative consequences of the Three Gorges Dam). It does not, however, mention child abandonment or adoption.
In particular, it gave me an insight into being a minority in a relatively insular society. At the time that Hessler lived there Fuling had little contact with Westerners. Most of the time he was one of only two foreigners living in the town. Hessler and his friend, Peace Corp worker Adam Meier, had a large degree of novelty value for some locals. They were isolated by lack of language and lack of understanding of the prevailing culture and looked physically quite different from those around them. (I was reminded of this aspect of the book when in Chongqing and as the only two westerners on the street, my hulking 6'61/2" husband attracted stares and much laughter, and then a very inquisitive crowd. Later my husband "caused' a bus accident when the driver braked to get a better look at him and two other buses rear-ended him. no one seemed to mind. There were no injuries and all the passengers got a good long look at my husband, but I digress).
For a Fuling parent, the rich description of daily life in Fuling and of the surrounding countryside is worth its weight in gold. Fuling barely rates a mention in most guide books. But Fuling does come across as a dirty, polluted and noisy town (the constant honking of car horns). Hessler vividly describes the steep streets, laneways, and the "stick stick" men (the men with the bamboo poles for carrying goods on. We saw many stick/stick men in Chongqing). He gives us a picture of the changing seasons on Raise the Flag Mountain and White Flat Mountain and the significance of White Crane Ridge (which unfortunately is lost from sight forever due to the rising waters cause by the Three Gorges Dam). The only thing I think it could have benefited from was some photographs of the area, rather than just leaving it to the word pictures. (This is a purely personal. I love to read biographies and travelogues and thumb through the pictures; also it would have been a valuable additional "resource" for our Fulingers).
Hessler's book also made me realise that despite the veneer of an emerging capitalist society, China is (was) still at its heart a communist country and as such there is still a reluctance to speak out on some issues, particularly to westerners. The college administration has strong Communist party allegiances (if not membership). Hessler provides a vivid description of the students "joy" (which to this reader appear by some to be heartfelt but on another level orchestrated) at the return of Hong Kong to the motherland and their mourning the death of the Chinese leader, Deng Xiaoping (who had grown up to the northeast of Chongqing).
I eagerly acknowledged to our guide that I had read River Town. In a slightly embarrassed tone she responded that Fuling was not like that. Did she mean not anymore? "Chongqing [of which she considered Fuling to be part, the whole area being a municipality] is very modern. The government has spent a lot of money here."
It was clear that from the way that she carefully chose her words--in the way that many Chinese people can, saying so little but meaning so much - that she found book slightly embarrassing, perhaps a slight on her "home town" and she did not want us to get the wrong impression.
And with that comment I readjusted my thinking slightly on River Town. Yes, it is a fantastic read but it does describe a Fuling of nearly seven years ago. Not a long time you might think, but China is rapidly changing. To take assume Hessler's depiction is still completely accurate would be like looking at 1960s USA (or any other western country) and saying that is how it still is now, when infact it is a "generation" later. The Fuling of the book is isolated --to get to Chongqing took 6 hours by boat --and thus has very little contact with Westerners. Now you can zip down the motorway in less than two hours. This is also pre-Three Gorges Dam Fuling. Physically Fuling has been changed by this massive project. Dykes have been built and low lying areas are being flooded. At the same time there has been increased investment and building. Before there were no traffic lights, now there are. Then there was no overseas adoption, now there is.
So read this book and enjoy this "historical" insight into a remote Chinese town, but don't assume that this is exactly how it is now.
Saturday 11 November 2006
Passing the time until number 2
The journey to our second daughter looks like it is going to be a marathon (hard to believe that it might be longer than the 14 months we waited for our first daughter).
But as I say to others also waiting, it is important to keep busy.
So want can I do to fill in time. This blog is one answer.
I have also found that since we adopted our first daughter I am drawn to assisting those children that still remain in orphanages in China but also children in rural areas who, due to family hardship, face a struggle to be educated. I am really enthusiastic about exploring ways, no matter how small, that I can assist.
So this journey will be one exploring our current wait, sharing some of the information I come across about my daughter's birth country and ways of assisting less fortunate children in that country.
But as I say to others also waiting, it is important to keep busy.
So want can I do to fill in time. This blog is one answer.
I have also found that since we adopted our first daughter I am drawn to assisting those children that still remain in orphanages in China but also children in rural areas who, due to family hardship, face a struggle to be educated. I am really enthusiastic about exploring ways, no matter how small, that I can assist.
So this journey will be one exploring our current wait, sharing some of the information I come across about my daughter's birth country and ways of assisting less fortunate children in that country.
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